gonna be 6 pm liao...sch's gonna end for the day...dats a good thing...i dun wanna stay in sch...all i can find here is loneliness and dumb compromising...there are so many of u who will onli look mi up when u need the help dat i need...where r u when i need u guys? i dun wanna be ur lackeys man...fuck off...there's no point in even telling u ppl off...u guys wont even listen to wat i say...so wats the use??? i'm juz ur dumb follower...

i dun wanna go home either...y? let mi ask u? wats the diff when u go home onli to find ur room being occupied always by others other than urself, and there is no way you can voice urself out or tempers will flare...life realli sux at this point...

i'm so glad dat another long weekend is coming...not to forget my appointment in SGH tomoro...i dun have to go to sch...nor will i have to be home onli to be restricted from my own private space...its no longer private anyway...everytime i sit infront of my desk i see something extra, a hairband, a book, used tissue, scrap paper...u name it lah...i'm fucking sick of it liao...

things happening around the famili is not helping matters...its sad to say but i fear for my famili's future...

"Man came into this world alone...and shall leave the world alone...so let it be that he lives in this world alone..."

Morning ppl *yawnz* , how's ur X'Mas and Boxing Day? *yawn* ???

rem i talked abt having 2 bbqs in a row...yeah...theres still more to come...
on the nite of the 2nd bbq, mi onli slept at abt 4am...onli to wake up at 8am to prepare for a soccer game...wah...wait...still more...

after the game headed for home onli to have time to bathe then visit Grandpa in Tampines before going down to orchard for Han's early bday outing...watched "kung fu hustle"...for pure slapstick and no brainer comedy laughter...effects r realli good though...followed by dinner at NYDC, the one outside Heeren...ppl, dun go there...sux big time...NYDC already doesn't have much variety to start with, then dat branch didnt have most of the ice cream and drinks...the attitudes of the waiters and waiteresses suxed, disorganised and the food didnt taste as good as the NYDC in Wheelock Place...sigh...quite a dissapointment realli...

however, on the overall, managed to meet up with many of my old frens, so it was good :) it was realli nice to see dat many of them found their happiness :)

to MY and Kelly, Ah Wei and SY Da Sao, Cong and ur Bear...congrats on ur new found happiness...

eh...and to my other frens hu have been together since who noes when...stay happy always~ (eg. ah jiao and Cutie Tay, ZC and PY Da Sao, DT and Cindy, Hanz and Manda, Beng and FengYing, Rick and Crys...juz to name a few...sorri if i 4got any couples, forgive moi...haha)

hmmm...all i'm looking forward to now is the gathering of 4E5 PPL on the 31 dec at pasir ris i think(ANOTHER BBQ! -_-")...and SHE's concert, hehee...so until next time...cya guys ;)


"Sleeping actually burns calories...so sleep ppl! SLEEP!~"

Merry Christmas to all!!! how's everyone's x'mas? good i hope :) i had quite a nice one actually, spent x'mas eve with ZC, Banny and gang for bbq, then went for KTV from 1 am to 5 am at party world in orchard...hmmm...dunno if u went down orchard...but it was realli quite havoc...with practically almost everyone equipped with foam spray cans in their hands...spraying at each other...and at strangers...there were so many cases of 1 guy being gang-banged sprayed by a grp...things looked fun enough :) though not neccesarily safe, hehe :)

reached home at 5.45am...headed for bed almost straight...onli to wake up at abt 12...i expected myself to wake up at 3pm...anyway, gonna leave at abt 4 to meet NSL and Cong at khatib to do some shopping for ANOTHER bbq! this time at Seet Wei's place...hmmm...hope father and mother not too upset...coz...i'm not gonna be home...again...and...i still have yet again ANOTHER bbq on 31st Dec...sigh...told u i'll be busy...

oh yar, last nite, there was a gift exchange session...and noe wat i got? a furry mose-like ball...er...called mari mari mo...crazy gift from "da sao"(ZC's gf)..."take good care and provide love for Mari Mari Mo and give it to your loved one!" direct translation from the instructions!!! the ball is now 12mm big...and u wanna noe its growth rate? 5mm a year!!!! realli gonna wonder how this mari mari mo of mine will turn out...will i even have the patience and determination to take constant care of it(u have to do things like change water, use ur fingers to reshape it...things like dat...)??? the guys told mi to give it a name...so called it "xiao mao mo"...as in small hairball...wat a present...

gonna try to rest more b4 i get sick...rest rest rest rest!!!! once again, Merry X'mas to all! enjoy urselves! and be nice!

"how do you perceive happiness?
a begger percieves happiness as a stable shelter and 3 meals a day
a rich man perceives happiness as being the king of the world
a kind man perceives happiness as World Peace
a sadistic man perceives happiness as none of us would imagine
but a man who doesn't have a perception of happiness...is not living life...he is just simply ageing to death..."
juz some crap frm Stinko :)

didnt go to sch today(wed)...reason...went to ENT Centre(Ear Nose Throat) for my sinus prob...hmm...seems more serious than everybody thought...dr's diagnosis, a veri veri sensitive nose, a poly-something infection...and a abnormally narrow passage on the left nostril...verdict...might require operation...sian tiao...gotta go back next week to see the results of the CT scan...sigh...

anyway, my time in EM has ended(thank god!)...the SBM pageant and other events seem to be stressing out the EM ppl...poor guys...mi leh? slacking thru ARDC...seriously nothing to do...gotta find some entertainment to do during my time there man...juz like wat julian's doing...he brought along "winter sonata" vcd to watch...power...

year end period liao...gonna be quite busy...with plans for christmas and new yr...good too...wont have too much free time on my hand to think of things...i think too much sometimes...which is bad...sigh...luckily i got many guys around to be there...thanx guys...frens forever!!!

eh...xin hui ah...i believe u were rite in calling mi stupid for wat i intended to do...maybe dat woke mi up a little...maybe the guys from my DBI class will noe too...the foolish things dat i've done for gals...so maybe its time to wake up bah...after 3 yrs of bachelorhood, i think i can deal with it for the rest of my life bah :) look on the other point of view...i'll be able to be 24/7 on-call for my frens when they need mi :)

"life is a cruel thing...to appreciate 1 moment of joy and bliss...it'll take 10 moments of equal suffering to fully understand and appreciate..."
ever ur fav philosopher...Stinko

wah...look at the time!!! and i'm not even home...aiyo...tell u wat happened...

lets go back to awt happened yesterday...or in this case, the day before...mi went for soccer...juz 10 mins into the game and i injured my leg...a sprain from the ankle down to the foot...but still carried on playing for the next 45 mins...big mistake...end up cannot even walk home...had to take a cab...mi father saw mi limping and this was how the conversation went...

father "sprained again ah?"
stinko "er...yeah..."
father "how? u kicked the ball? somebody kicked u? or u fell down?"
stinko "er...all 3 happened..."
father "HUH!!!"

try to imagine the look on his face...anyway...had to rub my leg and had some heat treatment...helped real lots...and father was nagging away "tomoro dun go sch ah! go see doc ah! understand? dun go sch ah!" imagine u have to hear dat over and over again! but i understand his concern...THANX FATHER!!!

so mi skipped sch and saw the doc...got an x-ray...no fracture...in fact...rite now...the leg seems pretty fine...give it another 48 hrs...and it shld be fine....

and now...gonna explain how come i'm still not asleep...well...i was supposed to sleep at around 11pm liao...happily tucked into bed...then suddenly the phone rings and mi old sec sch buddies jio mi out of dreamland to one of our guy's place...so go lor...despite the foot...sigh...the bonds btwn brothers(feels so gay...)!!!

pia cab down liao...then have the usual alchohol + crap chat...had a bit too much of Chivas...vomitted diner...plus the hangover...but nows still ok...recovering...we're still toking crap til now...duno when it'll stop!! but i gotta admit...its been awhile since we had such gathering...and i pretty much every moment of it...these guys are the best man!!! frens 4ever!!!

sigh...gotta end here liao...lets juz hope i dun get sick from all these late nites and alchohol overdose...not good for the body...

"the wonders of friendship...does wonders...its wonderful...don't you think?"
Stinko...momentarily forgetting the worries on his mind...

there are many times when i've thought of something and wanted to put it down on this blog...but at the end of the day...my short term memory loss kicks in...wat to do???

this is gonna be my last week of TEP with the EM guys le...gonna miss them man...sigh...juz when things start to get realli nice...things have to change...hope my next TEP stopover gonna be a realli slack one...dun wanna move my ass too much liao...pretty exhausted from EM le...if possible, gonna have an outing with the EM guys on fri...

the other sian thing abt leaving is all the documentations i have to do...sian...peer appraisal form...peer evaluation...summary report...aiyo...sian tiao!!!

lastly...this matter has been bugging mi for the past couple of days...shld i realli be so foolish as to go ahead with my plan? i mean...all the guys in EM can talk to her normally as frens like buddy buddy like dat...and she'll smile back to them as well...as for mi...its always straight simple one-liners...sigh...her frens all noe abt the other part-time actor guy...logically...i shld not go any deeper to prevent the sadness dats already setting in...then again...i'm not a veri logical person...and still want to go ahead with the plan...sigh...i'm a contradicting bastard...agree(i'm sure most of u do)???


"The meaning of Foolish is defined as "Lacking or exhibiting a lack of good sense or judgment or Resulting from stupidity or misinformation; unwise"...example...stinko"
Ever the same fool, Stinko

And here is the end of the X'mas fair!!! waahahhaaha!!! so happy!!! though Monday might be alittle tiring as well...stock counting...documentations and stuff...aiya...monday then settle...

tell u something veri funny today...i was helping Anthony(the rocker DJ for the event) with setting up the PA system...we were missing a part for the connection from the cd player to the amplifier...so we were searching for it up down high low...no luck...so wat happened was i told him "bro...give it a try with this connection...if it doesnt work...i'll borrow mi fren's car to get u to AMK to get the stuff..." so we hoped, prayed...and tried...then...there was MUSIC!!! Anthony and I was like giving the !!!STUNNED!!! look...u shld have seen our expressions! (Iswari saw it...she laughed her ass off...) so it was a nice start off for day 2 of the fair actually...

same couldn't be exactly said for packing up time...too many phone calls and things to do...mi ended up blasting my mouth off at one of the guys on the phone...sorri Chong Yew...u've been a great help, sorri for the blast to ur ear...

oh yar...mi got something from the fair for her...though its not gonna be the onli thing...gotta save up realli....to get wat i intend to get for her...oh...going after gals is such a drainer...monetary-wise...

come to think of it...i've spent a good deal of money over gals i liked(but no reciprocations of course)...let mi see...almost 500 maybe??? dats abt half my salary earned over the 3 months i worked...sigh...some ppl are "penny-wise, pound-foolish" and some are "penny-foolish, pound-wise"...i truly believe i'm the foolish of both kinds...

"wat i got to knew today had caused mi much sadness...yet still i'm gonna go ahead with the plan...y? cuz i'm foolish :)"
Ever ur fave philosopher...Stinko

sigh...today is the first day of the X'mas fair...and...as expected...Murphy's Law applies~there were cock ups....

First of all, the examination tables needed...i took the wrong ones...i took those 20 yr old tables instead of the new ones...i was like "OH MY F**K!!!" i'm realli sorri to the guys hu had to bear the consequences of my one mistake...from the bottom of my heart...please accept my sincere apologies...

secondly...the PA system had to cock up...i think the system was not totally up until abt 10 plus 11...it was nobody's fault....realli...good thing is it worked...

although there were some other smaller things...day 1 of this fair could be considered a relative success! hehe...and where credit is due...the WHOLE team of EM-RS deserves it!!! (with a FEW exceptions of course...)

lets juz hope tomoro will be a better day...but with this batch of guys around...i dun think i'll have to worry much! thanx guyz...(i'm beginning to feel i'm a little too gay here...)

anyway...i've decided...she's gonna get something from mi for X'mas...and she's gonna get it way b4 X'mas itself...wish mi luck guys...i realli need it...

"when a guy lacks the confidence he needs...luck matters alot..."
Ever your philosopher...Stinko

Finally, i have some free time...sigh...its been realli busy for mi...sigh...hope i realli get a good grade for this stopover...if not...i dunno wats fairness...

i've been so busy dat i dun have time to do wat i realli aimed to do...make an impression...but then again...wat WILL i do if i had the time??? u guys noe lah...how i sux at this type of stuff.....(you noe wat i'm toking abt rite?)...somebody...anybody...pls HELP MI!!!

rem my last post i said something abt a sign? well...tell u something probably dat make u wanna go punch mi in the face.........i dunno wat sign to look out for...wahahha...quick...punch mi in the face...i deserve it...

anyway, the fair is tomoro...hope things dun cock up...u noe Murphy's Law?...yeah...i'm afraid of dat......

"Anything that can go wrong...will go wrong..."
Murphy's Law

hehe...its 3 am monday...i gotta be in sch in another 5 and a half hrs...and here i am still not asleep...sigh...

sigh...i think i noe my competition liao...sigh...its not good at all...this guy is a real charmer...

-damn handsome looking...
-into his 3rd friendster a/c
-seems to be a real good sweet talker...(probably rich too...juz a guess...)
-aspiring actor...(he does look familiar, come to think of it...)
-tis guy seems to be good at everything...

come on ppl...u noe mi...

-i'm no charming guy...i have looks only a cow would love...
-eh...friendster a/c still on the first one...and not yet hit 200(by the way, each a/c accomodates 500 friends...so u do the math...)
-maybe i can talk trash to other ppl...girls even!!! but i'm always so quiet infront of dat person!!!!
-i admit i used to dream of being an international star...wahaha
-ppl hu noe mi...noe i can do no shit...sigh...

oh my...sigh...talk abt overcoming the odds...if onli she would give mi a sign! any sign...and i'll go for it!!! if not...i'll juz be dat...quiet guy in front of her...dats pathetic...who asked mi to be a gutless spine?

u noe...something funny happened today...or rather last nite...i was with this fren of mine...we were chatting at some place near dhoby ghaut...all of a sudden a dead bird juz dropped right in front of mi...i was like..."wat the f**k!?!?!?!" ok...so it was abt 5 metres away from mi...but can u imagine??? a dead bird falling rite in front of u...god dats scary...dun think i can play money on chinese new year liao...the ironic world...sigh...

"tell mi...how often have you heard a princess choosing a frog over a charming prince?"
Stinko...sad and confused...

sigh...i think i'm gonna fall sick...too many late nites and early mornings...dats y mi slept early last nite...11pm...dats early rite? normally it would have been around 2 am...i'm so glad dat the group that i'm in is a capable grp...wahahaha!!! can let mi slack some more! although there are many projects and deadlines to meet...with the many new documentations that come along with it...somehow...i suddenly think its gonna be alrite...i hope...

another thing which makes mi look forward to going to sch now is also because of my grp...hehe...particularly 1 person...hehehe...lets see how things will go...

"i think i noe how alice felt when she was in wonderland...real lost..."
Stinko

this is gonna be a little long...not too long i hope...

went for soccer yesterday with some of my new frens from EM(Events Management)...i may have made myself some enemies...i think practically everyone in the opposition team either got kicked, stepped on the foot, or rammed in the face by mi at least once...imagine the guys cursing mi under their breath...

especially there was this one guy who calls himself KenBoa...i tot stinko as a nick was bad but KenBoa...hmmm...u decide...anyway...wat happened was he was wearing specs...and he was the guy whom's face had to meet the ball(kicked by mi of course)...hehe...he was realli a little drama drama type...felt sorry for him for a moment...but then my guy frens told mi not to bother...he doesnt deserve it...so heck lor!!! after that there were a little pushing around(more of mi pushing...as mi defender)...tt pissed him off...so tried to wack a ball at mi(missed of course) and pushed mi off shouting "PUSH WAT PUSH!?!?!" (well, first of all, i'm playing defender...dun expect soccer without body contact...and secondly...i have an aggressive nature...wat to do?)...come to think of it...the guys were rite...dat guy doesnt deserve my sympathy...wahahahaha

anyway...i suxed at dat game...i couldnt pass a proper ball for shit!!! 4 out of 5 passes ended up with the other team...ohhhhh......everyone muz be tinking wat an idiot i was...at least i got to get some tackles in...(plus the brutality mentioned beforehand!)

onto today...veri bad day...early in the morning had to busy myself with the Online Registration...an event for ppl who failed their modules to reschedule their time table or something...then the packing up plus the new events coming up...aiyo...
i believe this is my luck dat i had to come to EM at this point in time...tell u why...

1. Whole new bunch of events coming up
2. Current batch leaving in another week's time...
3. not grasp the essentials of organising and handling events yet
4. transition from EM to a merger with RS(Roadshow)...
5. Change of a good, understanding and caring IC lecturer to a demanding, calculative and perfectionanist lecturer...sigh...

sigh...if things realli do not go well...i might veri well have to repeat my TEP again...damn...pls help mi!!!

grandma"AH BOY ah! you fatter then ur daddy liao leh!!! later no "pak tor" ah!"
stinko"mou xiong gong lah...(cantonese)"

ps:i am not fatter than my father!

hello again...

how's life? Mine? the near future doesnt look good...but hope i can cope...anyway...here's wat i did over the past few days in a nutshell...

1. managed to get a handshake frm SELINA!!! wahahaha!!! went for the handshaking session held at Ngee Ann City on 10th Nov...hehe...Hebe and Ella were veri nice too...but u could see their lethargicness...poor gals...GAMBATTE!!!

2. Been doing generally 2 things at home...playing Maple Story...then reading my new book "The Bartimaeus Trilogy:The Golem's Eye" when i'm letting my character recover its HP...hehehe

3. Here's the exciting part...mi went for the Motor Show held at Suntec Convention...Not exactly impressive...but still...more than 23 mill worth of Automobiles...WOAH~ got some pics to prove it...


Lets start it off with my fav car...hehe...Mitsubishi Evolution VIII MR




Then there's my other fav...the Lexus ES300...OOOOHHH!!!




But wait...i ended up in another more luxurious car...the Lexus LS430...now dats luxury!!!!




hehe...and here...ladies and gentlmen...which in my opinion...was the star of the coupes for the event...is the Honda HSC concept car!!! WAH!!! LOOK AT THE DOORS!!!






alas...wats a motor show without the RACE QUEENS!!!!! and hu do we have here? a veri cute race queen!!!



wan a close up??? hehe!!!




there u go!!! i believe this post took a veeerrrrrriiiii long time to load! hahahah!!!! but its worth it rite????????

"at the end of the day...you leave this world as you have entered it...empty handed..."

hello ppl, i'm officially on my TEP(Teaching Enterprise Project)...i'll be in Events Management for the next 6 weeks...seems slack enough! haha...imagine...i could have gone MIA for the whole day and no one cares! but i certainly do hope dat when the time comes, such as executing events and such...i'll learn something...

meanwhile...loooook at my latest gundam collection!!!!



hehe! cute rite??? my first SD type gundam...those big head small body type! i actually expected to finish this guy in 1 afternoon...end up took mi slightly over a day...as the color scheme was more complex then the actual colors the kit provided...so my had some work to do with the color...the black onli actually...hehe!

so guess where does my new cutie go to now? HERE!!!



its on top of my monitor...so i can see it every nite!

another thing to keep mi occupied in sch, mi finally got the book "The Bartimaeus Trilogy:The Golem's Eye", the second book of the trilogy...hehe...this sem seems to be starting off well!

Oh Yeah, veri important! Happy BirthDay to Ah Wei!!! ur 19 liao!!! congrats!!! and seriously...from the bottom of my sincere....very sincere heart....THANK YOU for the dinner!!!!!! *hehehehe!

"its sad when you have a conflict between the heart and the mind...who do you listen to? to listen to the heart is to hope...to listen to the mind is to be logical...but how often are we...or rather am i...logical???"

here i am again...spent the nite in Seet's place, as the guys wanted to watch The Exorcist...well...it was rated as the scariest movie...but it didnt scare mi as much as some of the horror movies in cinemas rite now...

can u believe it...i got myself another gundam model!!!! AHHHH!!! neh...its juz a small mini-me version of one of my fav models...so it shldnt take mi more than 1 afternoon to do it...went for it as it looked "cute" and also...its my fav...haha

after this weekend, its back to sch for mi...can u believe it...so quick...sigh...not dat i'm realli complaining though...juz hope dat my TEP (in-school attachment) will allow mi to meet new ppl~ wanna get to noe more ppl, esp those in my DBI course...

i'm a little confused of myself...a little contradicting in fact...i seriously dunno wat i want...but wat then again...do i deserve wat i think of...its a veri complicated thing which has eluded mi for quite awhile now...neh...i dun deserve it...

"Life is full of contradiction...i'll be the first to admit...but i still stand by my words when i say that there is a balance to everything...including life itself..."

sigh...well, i've finally cleared my room...eh...it doesnt look much different from b4, except there is one extra clear shelf, the broken office chair is gone, my old notes are stacked nicely on the side of the room and......taking out some of my gundam boxes and stacking nicely beside each of my speakers, specifically, the Gundam Wing series and the Gundam Seed series...

on the overall...pretty satisfied...onli dat there r 2 probs...i haven exactly found new space to accomodate the rest of my 7 unbuilt gundams(WOAH!!! BIG HEADACHE FIXING!!!)...and...how long the room is gonna stay his way...hmmzzz...

hope dat now i dun have to accomodate any more study materials coming in...it'll make things easier and i'll have more time to do up my gundams too...wanna keep myself busy...dun wanna have so much time to be thinking...

"life is really too short to be lived in suffering...don't suffer unnecessarily...its not worth it...applies to everyone..."
Philosopher Stinko

Exams are finally over...now i'll ave no excuse to do the many things i wanna do...format the com, clean up my room, do up my gundams, fix a pull-up bar...alot of things realli...sigh...

also...wanna sort out some of my thoughts, i believe i have to tell myself to move on...although i noe it take mi quite some time...a veeeery long time...its mi... always been the case...i seriously think its wasted dat i'm not a gal...cuz i think i'm mentally too feminine sometimes...oh god...

looking back...2004 hasn't exactly been the best yr...not for mi at least...but i'm glad i got through it...juz hope i can party my ass off come xmas and new year countdown...hehehehe!!!

Back to being serious...i think this blog of mine is gonna die soon...as mi always posting crappy stuff...who'll read abt mi anyway...so dun expect this blog to updated on a regular basis bah...maybe going back to the traditionl diary! hahaha...those i can easily write 2 full pages...dun ask mi how i do it...anyway...dats abt it...dun expect anything from this blog...

"Seek Solace...and maybe you'll seek nothing else...ever..."
Stinko...on a hint of monkhood~

the exams are here...but my heart is not...thinking of so many other things...seriously...i dun have the energy to carry on this last part of the marathon anymore...despite the fact that my poly exams will end in 2 weeks...sigh...wats into mi???

i'm pretty upset with myself actually...if onli my temperament can be better...i believe things wouldn't have turned out tis way...

"whatever i have used to think about myself and others can be thrown out of the window...as i'm not who i thought i was...i juz know that if there is any guy in the world who is contesting for gutless bastard/idiot/fool of the century...he's competing with me..."
Stinko

juz when you think that everything is going to be ok...it turns out to be not...sigh...my presentation today...real bad...i'm already on the border line case with the things that i'm doing...then my part has to cock up during the last min...sigh...juz hope things will start to pick up frm here...these past few weeks...infact...this whole sem has been pretty much on the down for mi...

after the presentation...went for a movie...the exorcist...not a bad show realli...took my first meal of the day before the movie(abt 6pm i think)...and now...back home and here...

if my determination serves mi well...i shld be in sch tomoro morning to do my studies le...cant afford to slack any longer...then again...my determination sucks

"The power of peer pressure and mockery of oneself can be overwhelming...so much that you see the rapid increase in depression cases...so please...know your limits and shut the fuck up when you have to..."

although i say there is a balance to everything...inculding us humans...i sometimes juz can't see it...the fairness in things...dun wanna say too much...juz let things pass by...juz disheartened...dats all...

let everything be over this wed...then its all up to myself do to wat i can for my final exams...

i know that there are many things that i dun deserve, but is friendship one of them? i treasure them...despite their shortcomings...who doesnt have weaknesses? but are ppl able to accept mine? from the looks of it...nope...nvm...

"when in doubt of your own existence, seek solitude"
Stinko...seeking solitude

Gundam Seed has another new series!! its Gundam Seed Destiny, juz watched the first episode, seems good, the new gundams look so cool!!! damn it...sure cant resist the temptation to bomb some of the new gundams...

got one last project to worry now...my EAI...the programming prj...after that its the exams...oh....

after mi exams its gonna be 1 week of holiday b4 my TEP (in-sch attachment) starts...hope to get to do something interesting...

"As Buddha says, Life is as good as a dream, after death, u will relise that you have juz passed a dream..."

did my Entrepreneurship presentation today...to real investors...not the lecturers themselves...woah!!! was pretty nervous before the presentation, but once it started...mi juz went with the flow...so it wasn't too bad...hehe...it was a good thing the investors were nice people too, there was this guy judge who was pretty quiet but was sharp in pointing out our contradictions(same applied for the other groups...), and another female investor who was pretty experienced...esp since she was a supplier of branded goods and i was supposed to buy and sell 2nd hand branded stuff...and the third judge was a godsend! she was sooooooooooooo pretty!!! aiyo!!! cannot stand it...i was sitting in front of her while wee beng was presenting his part...imagine...wahhhhh...can admire her beauty...ZZZzzzZZZzzz

all in all, things didnt go too badly, infact, at the later part of the presentation, during the Q and A section, i was quite comfortable...hehe...hope the results will good as well...mi realli spent some time on this prj...although i noe dat whatever you have forsaken and did for your cause, the fruits of labor will not necessarily reflect that equivalent amount...it might turn the other way round in fact...some people can simply not do anything and still earn some high returns while some others are slogging away only to have ikan bilis as their reward...its a sucky and sometimes true fact...life is ironic...

sigh...still gotta have to do my Internet Marketing prj and study for my JAVA test...life help mi...

"life sux, so do i, but i gotta live with it...cuz its MY life...not others..."
~Stinko~

life is something which is so fragile and brittle that almost anything can shatter it into many pieces...

there are so many people with so many different mindsets that, inevitably, some will collide with others...hence, misunderstandings, dislikes and hatreds develop...

there is a balance to everything, including the fortunes and fate of a man

shit happens, juz try to accept it...

to look for the things that u want...use your eyes, not your mouth....

silence is indeed golden, as anything wrong said can cause what is called the butterfly effect.

the butterfly effect, a chaos theory that says that anything as simple and insignificant as a buttfly's flap of the wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world...

ignorance is a bliss, provided you're in the right company...

people are sometimes blinded by their own misdoing...it happens...and they wont know it...so try to forget it...



wondering wats with all the sayings? dun bother, cuz i got no idea wats with it too...juz feel pretty out of life rite now...come to think of it...since when have i ever been INTO life??? hmmmz...good question...

add 1 more gundam to the collection, i 4got that i had successfully bidded for a Wing gundam O ver.ka, its a special ed gundam...sigh...more burden, lighter wallet

feel damn guilty now...reason...for wat happen today...and yesterday...mi blew mi top at mi entre group members...without any valid reasons...still hate my temper...sorry guys...so very sorry...

again on today, our CC(Course Coordinator) came over to give us a "surprise" childrens' day gift, a box of Merci chocolates. dunno y but felt something in my heart, this lecturer really different lah, its my fortune dat she's our CC.

one more thing, got an internet marketing test on thur...luckily have the whole of tomoro to revise...sigh...even then...hope there's enough time...

"whatever we see in life now...there is something more to it...only the enlightened will see whats beyond life itself...it is something so profound...yet attainable by everyone...as long they are willing to open up and see"
A rough sketch of buddhism...interpreted by stinko

damn sian...because of all the mooncakes surrounding mi...i have put on more weight...die...sian...sigh...ARGH!!! finally done my entre report liao...sigh...

i juz realised that i have in all 7 gundam models to build...WTH!!!

1. 1/100 Kamper
2. 1/144 Gundam Astray Red Frame
3. 1/144 Gundam Astray Gold Frame
4. 1/100 Aegis Gundam
5. 1/100 Gundam Astray Red Frame
6. 1/100 Gundam Astray Blue Frame Second L
7. 1/60 Freedom Gundam

( -_-")

i think mi gonna sell off mi second item...too many to do le...oh damn...wat have i got myself into...i shouldnt even be thinking abt mi gundams...mi shld be thinking abt mi sch work!!! AHHHH!!!!

"there is a balance to everything, including us humans, that is why there is such a thing as karma..."
Stinko...your everyday philosopher~

there's gonna be something every week now...its either a test, a presentation or a project...this is so veri the bad news...considerering the slacker nature in mi...sigh...

-i gotta do a presentation on Biometrics(anybody got an idea wats daT?)
-prepare a brief assesment on my web service...
-another project on Internet Marketing...
-do up a financial report on my Entreprenuership final presentation...
-prepare for a test which is gonna be in say...8 more hrs time???

ohhh....it looks pretty bad...worse part is mi haven finish mi revision(haven even read thru the notes once...) and i already feel like i'm going to "meditate"...

"There is so much to life for us to explore...but knowing too much will burden yourself more often than not...hence...i believe that finding the balance between knowledge and ignorance is a true bliss..."
Stinko...drowsy philosopher on the verge of ~meditating~

i'm feeling veri down...sian...i seem to be so unattached to the world...to everybody...let mi tell u wat happen to mi today(or rather yesterday)...

in the morning...woke up to do my JAVA...work work work til lunch time...then after lunch go sch lor...enthu to carry on mi work...then...there was something strange...none of mi classmates were to be seen...hmmm...funny rite??? dunno lah...mi grp gals were taking a rest..."father" and "mother" go out liao...then the other guys nowhere also...so call them lor...had to call them a few times b4 picking up mi call...seems like they had some plan to go to 1 of the guys place to carry on their work...so mi bo pian lor...come sch 5 min onli go out to find them again...

then at the guy's place...onli managed to do a veri tiny bit...sigh...as mi laptop spoil...veri bad...wanted to go back sch to do...but was feeling terrible (rem i told u i was gonna fall sick?)...so made mi way home lor...wanted to see a doc but father told mi to go tomoro morning...so ok lor...

then at night while staring mi JAVA codes away...mi chatted with another guy on msn...this guy...though he didnt go sch or anything...knew abt all the guys' plans...and even told mi something i didnt...dat the guys were gonna stay over at one of their places to do JAVA...i was with the guys whole afternoon and they didnt even tell mi abt it...sigh...tells u something bah...

sigh...mi felt so left out man...come to think of it...i dun think the guys wanted mi to follow them in the afternoon...shld have guessed...thinking too slow...nvm...i'll see wat i can do on my own bah...

somehow mi juz feel so used...sigh...during the period where the same batch of us guys had to do a job dat required alot of moving around driving...i was the one driving for 3 days straight...if not for the fact i was the onli one with the driving lesson...i doubt i would have been asked along for the job...sigh...now dat mi sux at JAVA...none of the guys care where i am...or watever i'm doing...

sigh...mi no mood to do mi java now...i dun realli care if i fail or not now...wat the hell...

"maybe staying detached from the world is a good thing...u wont be used...and be treated like a fool..."

PS: To those who know who i'm refering to...pls keep this to urself...thanx...i dun wanna talk abt this to the guys...they'll juz think i'm oversensitive(maybe i am...) and always gonna throw mi temper anytime at them...mi dun wan dat...

Though there are blogging competitions here and there...i believe the trend is gonna die out soon...hmmm...there were times when things happened and i wanna blog it...but somehow laziness played its part...so nothing...hehe!!!

i doubt i'll be blogging on a consistent basis now...realli getting lazier and lazier...also...the critical part of mi sch semester is here...so not much time to do anything else...(not dat i do everything dat i shld be doing all the time...slacking...)

need to do alittle updating...congrats to Hanz for finding Manda...wish you 2 luv birds the best!~
mi gonna end off now...hope this period goes fine for mi...cu i feel dat i'm falling sick...serious...

"people will follow you not because of the things you do for them, they follow you because of the way you make them feel..."
Dexter Yager (no idea who...maybe a fellow philosopher... )

A fren sent mi this article...veri meaning...gonna rip abit of it and post it here, it might be a little long but i believe its worth ur time...the original is way longer :)


Regarding Maturity…

In this society that emphasizes on the packaging, we would sometimes inevitably envy other people’s good looks, and lament about our own imperfection.

But in my years of experience, I have discovered that there’s no one life that is perfect, everyone has a lack of something.

Some couples are very loving, monthly salary of 10K+, but they could have problems bearing child.

Some people have the looks and talent, but could have a rough time in relationships.
Some people have lots of money, but they don’t have filial children.
Some people look to have a good life, but their brain could be empty all their life.

Everyone’s life has been designed with imperfections, you may not want it, but it will follow you. I used to hate my imperfection, but now I have learnt to accept it with open arms.

Because I understand that the flaw in life is like a spike on our backs, reminding us to be humble and to emphatise with others.

If there are no hardships, we will be complacent. If there is no depression, we cannot emphatize and console those who are less fortunate.

I also believe that life cannot be too perfect, having a crack to let happiness flow to others is a beautiful thing.

"You don’t have to have everything.
If you have everything, what’s left for the others?
Also recognise that life has flaws,
that I will not compare myself with others,
instead cherish what you already have."

So, don’t go around envying others, count the blessings that Heaven has bestowed upon you, you will find that there are more things that you have than things that you don’t have.

And what you do not have, although not lovable, is very much part of your life,
accept and appreciate it, and your life will be much happier.

Find someone who understands you…
and also hope you are that someone who understands him/her...

The intelligent like to guess people’s heart…
Although everytime they get it right, they will lose their own...

The innocent and naive love to give their hearts…
Although they get laughed at everytime but they would have won over other people’s hearts...


dunno abt u...but i hope i can live my life after these words of wisdom...
sobz sobz~~

more often than not...i've been throwing my temper(as some of my closer friends would noe...) like no one's business...disliking almost anything dat doesnt go my way...pretty stupid rite? i agree...but i realli used to be dat...(in fact...i still am...) but i realli hope to try and accept things as they are and not recklessly get pissed for nothing...stop my foolish ideas and childish acts...sigh...

Sigh, i think quite a few of my blogs start off with a sigh, rite? shows u much i like to sigh...got thing sigh...nothing also sigh...even my parents say i sigh too much...

juz now...mi ah pa(Derrick san)chatted with mi abt 45...haha...i tot i was a bad failure...after listening to his gd fren's story...mi feel so sad for dat guy...spend so much money and time for a gal...still end up still nothing...realli poor guy...

mi still haven done much revision for my 2 tests...last nite slept at 7pm...onli to wake up at 5 am next day...wah...a full 10 hrs of sleep...SHIOK AH!!!~ hope i got some motivation to do some revision later...cuz i certainly have none rite now...

"Sometimes, there is only so much you can do until you either bear the fruits of your labour or realise its all for naught..."
temperamental philosopher, Stinko

hmmm...tried out a new blog layout...not up to my satisfaction but i hope it'll do...i think i'm gonna change the main pic to something else...also...pls tell mi if u guys want the background music, i'll take it off if its too irritating...

sigh...a few hrs ago it was 45's bday...mi didnt noe if i shld get her a present anot...even up to now...its like...throwing money away...cuz...i noe its gonna be of no use...sigh...some more mi now so tight on cash...i'm getting more and more senseless, cant think properly of whats right or wrong liao...also cant set my priorities rite...

although i noe i gotta chiong studying for 2 tests on thur...i got a total of 10 chapters to study...i wonder how...am i gonna finish all 10...dun think i will...hehe...

oh yar, to those in NYP one, our dear fren Ng Sim Lim got friendster liao, go add him bah, find him thru my account...i also added the "Banana Man" from Singapore Idol!!! wahahahaa!!! go add him too!!!

"The hearts of men are easy to stray and falter, hence, i believe that a determined man is a successful man..."
Stinko, part-time philosopher

woah...its August liao...its gonna be National Day liao...DPM Lee declares a "month" of celebration...if onli realli got 1 month holiday...can realli slack like no one's business...but too bad...fat chance...

i think mi gonna be a little busy during the Nat Day period...2 of mi frens bday fall on the eve of ND, mi younger cousin also bday dat day...i rem there is ne more person of the same bday...but cant recall dat guy...sorri dude...

life has been veri boring for mi...i mean i'm boring...and i'm bored as well...the keyword is bored...i'm so bored that i'm playing with the word "bored"...u get the idea...

i dunno wat to do to this blog anymore...seriously...i dun even find a purpose to live my life...let alone write abt it...

"that's why no one wants to be a philosopher...they get senile a few months into the job..."

its sat morning...its raining...i'm sleepy...and...i'm in sch...WHY???  to do my java enterprise prj thingie...the cinema booking thingie...hope i can find the motivation to do my stuff today...cuz...tomoro...i'm fully booked...sianz...

hope i dun get dehydration from tomoro's soccer game again...worrying thing is my body is still aching...something muz be wrong...after the soccer game going over to my fren's place to settle some of my frens' bday presents...then its steamboat buffet at marina south...muz tell myself to drink lots and lots of water...realli lots of water...

anyway...back to yesterday (friday), sorry to Crystal for driving too recklessly...with your car...so sorry~ still got lotsa things to sort out abt mi driving....

"careful the kurb~turn slowly~watch out for that car~go slow~dun exceed 90km/h~dun stay too near the car in front~BRAKE!!!~"
things you'll hear from my dad when i'm driving...

u noe...i still cant get over the fact dat this is an unfair world...dats sad! 

its the end of the week liao...supposed to be happy...but mi quite worried now...as i have to settle 3 people's bday presents(burn pocket...), do up a UI prototype for the cinema ticketing website(eat up time...)...and most worryingly...my finances...sigh...got an annuity plan dats eating up 40 bucks a month from my bank...and my bank is left with...39 bucks...sigh...things look pretty tough ahead man...wat to do...wat to do...wat to do...

recently...i realised something...some guys are looking at me differently...its like u can see in their expression dat they look at mi in another light or something...can see it especially in their eyes...wats the prob???  something weird with some part of mi???  my hair maybe??? it looks a little like the Beatles' times now...sigh...i realli sux...

"do not envy all that the bird sees...for ignorance is bliss"

seems like the toil of 2 soccer games in 3 days has taken over mi...
 
i'm now practically bed-ridden...cuz my whole body is aching...no joke...even tossing and turning on the bed is painful...ouch...so happen to be better now after the doc's medicine...
 
i'll see if i can attend tomoro's classes anot...as its java...my java is veri veri veri veri weak...so dun wanna miss it if possible...some more i think this lecturer teaching us java is good...he would thoroughly expain things to you...juz say for example...last week...he practically did out the whole practical while explaining in detail...one thing for use was that that effort didnt go to waste as i wasn't so lost for that practical...
 
but then again...whether i can attend his lessons anot is another thing...i realli feel like shit rite now...see bah...ouch...

sigh...

juz played vigourous indoor soccer on fri...gonna play vigourous field soccer later at abt 9.30 am...song boh! i can still feel my body aching from friday's game...how am i gonna survive the match later i wonder...sigh...this juz proves i'm too fat and unfit...sigh...

the work in sch is starting to pile up...yet mi still slacking...veri veri veri bad...gotta have to tell myself to buck up...if not realli have to play catch up all the time...sian man...

"the grass is always greener on the other side...how true"

u've heard of dumb blonde gals b4 rite? how abt dumb asian gals? well...i got 1 peeerfect example...TO VICTORIA KOH...DUMB BIMBO OF THE KOH FAMILY!!!~

do not come looking for mi always acting cute and asking for help with the internet connection...u wanna use it...jolly well go learn abt it and stop treating yourself like a f*cking 24 yr old baby hu noes nothing except opening ur mouth all the time...oh wait...U DUN KNOW ANYTHING!!! i rest my case...

"dumb b*tch..."

class starts at 9am...so here i am blogging away...

i dun think i'm suitable to drive...my concentration is juz never 100%...i have never ever drove in a car alone b4...and i dun think i am good enough to drive alone in the car...sigh...gonna tell mi father dat i'll not be taking over the chauffer duties...at least not in the near future...there have been a few close calls now...sigh...i sux at driving...

i actually aim to own a car in...say...5 to 7 yrs time??? earn enough to own an old second-hand car...a small and cheap car...so driving the car around would be much easier...and also...should i get a scratch or meet up with an accident...i wont be too heart-broken...cuz its gonna be an old second-hand...and also its my own car...so i can bear the consequences alone...

i juz realised dat this sem is gonna be quite similar to the last one...cuz i have onli 2 final papers, but i have plenty of projects...currently i think already 4...entrepreneurship...gonna be interesting...

rem i said that i went for a seminar during the weekend? yeah...its a good learning experience...made mi see some things i've never seen b4...gonna share some these during the next few blogs...

"Remember that you have to enjoy what you are doing...if not...its not a career...its juz a job...and you'll die earlier than you should..."

the first week of sch is gonna come to an end...sigh...mi realli scared of the java and project...we'll supposed to do a cinema ticket booking system!!! using JSP i think...sigh...anyway...gonna look forward to the weekends

i wont be around for the weekend...i'll be making a trip to KL and Malacca...for a seminar...something to psyche mi up...mentally...so dun bother trying to contact mi after sat afternoon til sunday evening maybe...

i think i promised to put up some of the pix i took in China...but up to now...hope and pray i can do dat soon...seriously...i gotta buck up...shldnt be lazy liao...

"Think of achieving a goal like a dog chasing after you...you never stop running until the dog stops the chase...same thing as achieving a goal...you should never stop trying until you have achieved it!"

its a funny thing...i got my allowance on monday, 50 bucks...then in sch, met a fren of mine...in need of cash...so lent him 50 bucks...empty liao, so bo pian...go ti ti ti another 50 bucks for myself...then...again lend ppl money for makan all these, then go for ktv(covered for 2 persons)...end up now no money...woah...sigh...money money money...i'm a real spendthrift...damn...

sch's started liao, seen afew new faces...and a few unfamiliar faces...hmmm...anyway...this sems gonna be bad...cuz there's gonna be java...sigh...and my supply chain management module lecturer has a prob with the world...its only tuesday and i'm hating sch liao...sigh...so sad...

if there is seriously 1 good wish that can be granted to mi rite now...i would wish to have laughing buddha's carefree and worry-less life...he is so forever so happy-go-lucky...without a care in the world...and always helping ppl in need...there was even this story about him...

Laughing buddha was walking along the street when a middle-aged looking man was standing anxiously by the roadside...holding his torn and tattered pants...

buddha : "whats troubling you my friend?"
the guy: "my wife's going to give birth and here i am stuck because of this pants"
buddha : "thats easy! take my pants, dun worry abt it!"
the guy: "woah! really? thanks!"

so they changed pants and the guy was off...while laughing buddha juz sat at the same spot smiling all day long...not paying any attention to the laughs and mockery of the passer-bys...

Such was the kindness of laughing buddha...woah...its gonna be 3 am liao...dunno y still not asleep...but will try to sleep now...gd nite...gd morning...whichever way u look at it...

"i believe in the estra-terrestial...wouldn't it be a waste of space if the whole universe only belonged to us?"

hmmm...juz finished watching "message in a bottle"...it was on channel 5...didnt know the story was written by Nicholas Sparks, the genius behind "a walk to remember"...think i'm gonna read the book "message in a bottle" now that i've caught the show...

one thing abt nicholas sparks's stories are dat they are always love stories and also they dun usually have a happy ending...why? to make the story more dramatic? believable? memorable? or on the whole, create a bigger impact? i dunno...

everytime i watched "a walk to remember", i would cry(seriously), i would also cry while reading the book...but for "message in a bottle", i didnt...maybe i was toooo tired to sobz any more...hope the book will be more of an impact...

school's gonna start in a few hours time...sigh...dunno is good or bad...but 1 thing i'm quite sure is that this will be the hardest sem...academically as well as morally(hope u get wat i mean...dunno how to put through words)...

"given the choice...i would rather much be fool...as i would then know how to appreciate the smaller things in life..."
Stinko...blabbering philospher

sigh...u noe...b4 i left for my china trip, i was with mi sec sch frens, overnite at one of their place...then we chat thru the nite lor as usual...then one of them hu had juz attended a seminar told mi to stand by this phrase...

"A man should know that he is powerful and can make things happen while a woman should know that she is beautiful and is worth being fought for..."

a veri powerful phrase if u ask mi...and for a while...motivated by it...along with the happy news of my driving...went to china smiling...enjoyed myself...blah blah blah...

then...when i came back...news flew to mi dat the gal i liked going out with another guy liao...at her workplace one...sigh...sigh...sigh...y mi neber ever given the opportunity? i dunno...i need to accept da fact...the hopeful best i'll ever get is being a gal's best gay pal...dats HOPEFUL best...sigh...this sux...maybe the sch reopen will be good for mi...

quite sad now...though quite used to it liao...may the new semester blow my head off...so i wont have to think ever again...

"a man should know that he is powerful...true...but i'm no man...i'm still a little boy...a little boy who'll never grow up to face the real world...thats me..."

hello ppl, its been sometime since mi updated liao~ reason is dat mi juz came back from China...now veri tired...(head feeling giddy liao), mi gonna try to post up some of mi better pix along with some narration of wat i went through for the past 8 days...let u guys see China, haha! not gonna even bother abt unpacking now, leave dat for tomoro! gonna pick up the new car tomoro too...the big spacewagon is gone, the new corolla altis is here, going down turf city to pick it up, dunno whether mi or father gonna drive, see him bah...end here liao...head reallli spinning now, gd nite!

if there is seriously one good thing dat has happened to mi this holiday...it is wat happened today......

I JUZ GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE!~

Wahahahahaha!!!!! cant describe the feeling man...its real good!~ now the next step is getting a job...gimme 5 years...i'll get my own car! muahahahahahaha!!!!

"i'm still the same old loser, only this time i can drive around legally!(evil laugh~)"
stinko

我知道我自己的缺点，我太痴情了
明明是有很多的机会给我放弃，可是我却偏偏不放
为什么呢，我自己也不清楚
不想放弃，而又不去镇区机会，一次又一次的机会，我都没好好的去利用
我看也应该是时候说拜拜了
希望这次我能说的到，做的到...

"天阿，如果你听得到我的话，请你帮帮我这个大忙..."
Stinko~

pretty sian nowadays...nothing to do...cant work(cuz of the China trip)...no money...yet always going out...spend money...ahhh!!!! also...i've always been a veri indecisive person...so i usually regret abt something after awhile...which makes it even more sian...sigh...nothing interesting is happening...to mi at least...leave out the China trip...cuz...i didnt want to go on my own willingness...

i see ppl always envying everyone else...sigh...dat includes mi of course...the thing with us humans r dat we r often blinded of our own blessings and instead envy the blessings and fortunes of others...sigh...dat includes mi too...sigh

mi gonna try to enjoy this trip...though i dun think i'll be buying too many stuff...cuz mi went for the trip briefing...and from wat i can see...more often than not, the products there are imitations...and more importantly not reliable...

this blog is getting more boring by the day...damn...

"all my life i have made many mistakes...and i regret all of them...the problem is i don't learn from them...i'm a poor learner"
Stinko, aspiring philosopher

last 2 days of activities have helped...realli...

friday nite, went fishing with mi sec sch frens, from 8 plus in the evening til abt 6 am next day, it was my first time, caught 3 fishes!! 2 seabass and another small flat fish which i released back to the pond(actually kicked it back into the pond! wahaha!), i think it was a good day to fish, dats y...anyway after dat straight away for my mother company's trip to malaysia, a whole day trip...means my sleep was forsaken...damn...

0830 - set off from SLF building towards tuas 2nd link
1100 - arrival at Cocob(somewhere small village)
went to visit the kelongs there and had seafood lunch...nothing great though, the kelong had more dead fishes than live ones...believe it...
1330 - set off for Desaru's fruit farm...on the opposite end of where we were...so 3 hrs of sleep for mi...
1630 - arrival of Desaru fruit farm
the farm was more of a honey farm...cuz 50% of the farm was concentrating on
honey cultivation(the plantation had 100 acres of land to work with...imagine...)
1800 - set off for Kota Tinggi village...another 1 hr of sleep for mi...
1900 - arrival at kota tinggi village
in my opinion...this was the best part of the whole trip...guess wat we were
there for? to watch fireflies! we sat a boat into the deeper parts of the
mangrove swamp/river to watch the flies...at first, there were onli a few lying
in the bushes...then as it got darker, there were more...damn beautiful...the
tour guide wasn't lying when he said we would be looking at christmas trees...
2030 - end of trip...went for dinner at yet again ANOTHER place....dunno where
2200 - finally finished dinner/supper and on the way home....FINALLY!
0030 - HOME! HOME! HOME!


even after reaching home didnt immediately sleep...had to bath first...then cleared my mail before finally going to sleep...dat was abt 3 plus liao...

all in all, had a good experience, the fishing and the fireflies! juz hope the next few days would be nice...

"if there is one thing that fishing has taught me, it is that you never know when will an opportunity come by, and even if it does...and u grab it...it might not stay in your hands...thats life"

Hmmm...dramatic U-turn...remember i said i suddenly feel good again? Cancel dat...sigh...once again back to me...the lonely moody mi...a frog should forget abt waiting for its kiss with a beautiful princess and concentrate more on filling its stomach...as fairy tale endings are juz dat...fairy tales...they dun come true...they juz dun...

世界末日

想笑　來偽裝掉下的眼淚
點點頭　承認自己會怕黑
我只求　能借一點的時間來陪
你卻連同情都不給

想哭　來試探自己麻痺了沒
全世界　好像只有我疲憊
無所謂　反正難過就敷衍
走一回　但願絕望和無奈遠走高飛

天灰灰　會不會　讓我忘了你是誰
夜越黑　夢違背　難追難回味
我的世界將被摧毀　也許事與願違

累不累　睡不睡　單影無人相依偎
夜越黑　夢違背　有誰肯安慰(難追難回味)
我的世界將被摧毀　或許頹廢也是另一種美


"Morale of the story...don't be too happy juz for a moment...as you know...the higher the expectation...the bigger the dissapointment...big lesson!"
Stinko signing off....

today(or shld i say yesterday) was good...i enjoyed it! first went out with mi sec sch frens, all the old classmates, had makan at NYDC, the cheese cake was good....then they went to watch harry potter while i went to find another grp of frens to watch the same show! LOL! no choice, they bought mi tix liao, so had to watch with them lor, hehe! after dat sent one of mi frens home first before going back to find mi sec sch ppl for late nite ktv at kbox cineleisure....nice....sang til 3 am...finally destination home after dat....not dat i'm tired but i think i'll onli wake up at arnd 3pm...dun ask mi why...i juz got a feeling i would...but dun worry...i'll still entertain ur calls and sms(provided i heard the phone ring)! i dunno how to explain this but...i think i'm on a new lease of life...supposedly good i think...cuz seriously speaking...i havent been hopeful or anything abt anythink significant happening but now...i think i got it...though i hope dat this feeling is not juz temporary...

"There are times you suddenly feel like everything is good again..."

PS:If u wanna watch Harry Potter...go onli if u didnt read the book...it'll be more mysterious and greater pleasure to watch...cuz...i read the book and...the movie's onli 2 hr 10 min...so quite a bit of content is gone...so...i didnt have dat shiok feeling after the show...hope u get wat i mean...LOL

hello ppl...

slept at 10am this morning...woke up at abt 2.30pm...i'm wondering y i didnt sleep longer...had some funny dreams though(already forgotten them! LOL)...sigh...reason y i slept so "early" was cuz i was at a sec sch's fren's place...watched movies til 5 am before deciding to sleep...onli to go into a debate and carry on talking til 8 am when i finally made my loooong journey back home...

Due to some tight schedule these few days...mi onli done 90% of my "blitz gundam" left his last weapon...been stoning there for days already...lol...mainly busy with mi uncle's place...he's gonna rent out his bungalow at changi road...and the place is soooo rundown...so doing some last min touch-ups before the tenants move in on saturday...damn tiring...add dat on to mi not sleeping the whole of last nite...i realli feel much like a boneless slug crawling around....hope i dun get sick...

Going to China in abt...erm...over 2 weeks time? anybody want anything juz tell mi...will try to help u get it from there(NO DOG MEAT!!! or any other EXOTIC meat!)

ppl...if ur into harry potter and u got nothing to do...and u like reading...and u got nothing better to do...maybe u can go read the book "The Bartimaeus Trilogy:The Amulet of Sarmakand" its kind of similar to Harry Potter, juz more straight forward story-wise compared to HP maybe...good book...amusing too...its a wonder how and where the authors get their creativity and inspiration from???

"Tell me how often does mutual love happen between to people...more often than not, relationships start off from one side...whether the other side reciprocates or not...its another matter"
Aspiring and shagged philosopher, Stinko

goooood morning ppl....

been alittle busy lately after the exams, swimming, driving, doing house stuff...etc...didnt have the mood to blog...now nothing to do...so feel uo some space here... :)

wat happened these few days....hmmm....i got a job of being an interviewer with Acorn, a marketing research company...the survery they gave us....for the respondents...erm...it was the longest i've seen...wanna guess how many questions were there??? 381 questions...hhmmm....surely its gonna piss the respondents off...sooooo....i didnt bother doing any, gonna hand in the 2 blank copies back to the supervisor-in-charge...hehehe!

mi no more chance to work liao...cuz second half of jun going to china for holiday with the famili...mother's idea...so i've juz have to follow along...so meanwhile...gonna try to finish my driving once and for all...as well as finish up at least one of my gundam models...i got 5 untouched sets....woah~

juz got my belated present from emily today, its the 3rd set of gashapon figurines from "Naruto", luv it man, thanx ppl!!! i think mi gonna go for the 1st and 2nd set too liao!

due to much of the time onli daydreaming...i realli daydreamed abt alot of things...lol...dreamed abt cars, naruto, my gundam, that gal...aiyo! er...nothing realistic or possible bah...sigh

i typed too much...damn...gd nite ppl...(in case u didnt know, this was posted at 1.15am...time to SLEEP!)

"love is...when u know that a person will dislike you when you tell him somethng about yourself...but get a surprise by having the person like you more"
Hope you can get what this quote's tryin to say...cuz i do agree its definition...one more thing...its quoted from a nursery kid...not mi...

2 days ago...it was...my BDAY!!! wahahaha, nice nice!!! had a good time!!! After the last exam paper in the morning chiong for a movie, ktv, then in the middle of the night go out enjoy "scenery" at zouk and mount faber...but i tell u...the night view at the top of mount faber is fantastic...the lights u see far away frm the off-shore islands are damn pretty(romantic spot too! too bad no gals~)

Finally exams are over, relaxed now...wanna concentrate on mi driving...too slow liao...muz tell myself to get my license before mid-june, cuz dats when my PDL expires! wahaha!!! wanna go find work too...the work at hasbro doesnt start til mid june...sian...

dunno if u guys remember a few posts ago...i mentioned about going all way out to achieve dat goal...??? hehe...i think i'm gonna chicken out again...sigh...why...??? not too sure myself...no guts lah...also realli dun wanna spoil the current situation...sigh...heaven playing a trick on mi man...

wanna end off le...now holiday, wanna wish everyone happy holidays, enjoy urself! for the couples enjoy each other's company! and for the singles.........ENJOY being single(at least u dun have to explain to anyone if u O.N.S. outside!!! )wahhahaha!!!!!

lastly, wanna thanx everyone for remember mi bday!!! mi realli appreciate it!!! THANKXXX


"A philosopher meditates for mental enlightenment, my meditation is for BOTH physical and mental enlightenment!!! hehehehe!!!"
Still sane philosopher, Stinko

i sux at almost everything i do...i realli do...especially when it comes to my frens...sigh...i think i realli owe some of u guys a big big big debt for tolerating with mi all these time...

To Yaocong...most likely u wont be reading this(cuz u aint da type dat reads blogs), but i still have to mention this...Thanks alot for all these times...thanx for tolerating mi and my temper...dunno y...u always kana my temper...so veri sorri...i think of all the poly ppl...i think i owe you the most...seriously...thanx cong...

mi bday's coming soon...but mi dun feel like before...no more enthusiam in mi anymore...maybe due to recent times...maybe cuz i'm coming to hate myself more...i realli am...for all i noe...i may evolve into another....(HORRIBLE though!!!~)...TC TAN....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

"the reason why people do not want to be professional philosophers is because they either go crazy before they earn their first buck...or...they die really young...due to mental overload maybe..."
Stinko...still ever the philosopher...and progressively dying...

u know something....i sick of EVERYTHING!!! i mean EVERYTHING!!! to EVERYONE out there!!! dun come look for mi whenever u need my help!!! whenever u need dat help i'm there!!!! wat happens when i need help'?!?!?!?! hu's fucking there?>!?!?! i'm bloody sick of being used all the time....can someone ever take mi seriously around here.....

TO the world out there...FUCK YOU!!!~

i think mi play too much liao...cuz i'm feeling terrible!!! mi slept for half the day today (or rather yesterday...), feeling veri veri terrible, but despite dat mi managed to do ok~ for my driving lesson today...onli stalled the car once! wahaha, next lesson on thursday, gonna have the lesson in the morning then followed by the driving simulator in the afternoon! hehe, hope its a good sign dat i can go for the test soon!!! cuz i've come to enjoy driving...and the convenience of it!!! hehe!

these few days, quite abit of things came across my mind...something which has been eluding me for quite awhile now (can understnd actually, considering the person that i am...) ~ eh....dunno u guys get wat i mean anot...anyway, maybe its time i took real hard action? all these time mi has been making only passive actions, small things here and there, and not going further...things like dat...mi now suddenly have this feeling to go all out...dun realli care abt the consequences anymore...i think u guys noe wat i mean...sigh...give mi ur blessings pple...

"there's only so much hope in a person that when you totally break that hope...you break that person as well...causing him to drift his life away"
Stinko, ever the stupid philosopher~

Happy birthday to Yaocong!!! and Happy early birthday to Xinhui!!! haha, gonna celebrate their bday later at seet wei hse...gonna have to do alittle preparations, hehe! i'm now having fun like everything's over liao although it isnt...but i dun give a damn!!!!! wahahahahaha!!!

Actually...this sem has taught mi a few things...i cant survive without my frens, and the frens i have now...they are the best i can ask for...thanx guys...u noe hu u r...and to others out there, if u ever hurt my frens in anyway...dun expect mi to be easy on u...u can bet on it!!!

"its often said, but not heeded...treasure the people around you...or else you'll really regret it"
Ever the philosopher, Stinko

Finally, itipj is over...its good...in a way...no more major worries...to my grp members, sorri i didnt contribute enough...sigh...u gals did a good job! (i'm the onli guy in the grp...) now no more worries...playing liao...IMMEDIATELY! cuz mi now at yaocong hse liao, so are the other guys, they playing mahjong, mi playing com...

i got a few things which i have put on hold for awhile now...wanna get back into it...gonna resume to my regular gym visit...gonna get back to my driving lessons, put on hold for a month already...gonna try to get mi license b4 the spacewagon is gone...wanna have a try!

Oh yar...didnt mention it b4...mi going to China for a holiday with mi family...mi mum wants to travel with the family together every chance possible as she doesnt know when her knee will give way to the osteophorisis...gonna make her enjoy this trip!!!

To the ppl reading this...i wish the best to all of u! stay H&H! (healthy and happy...)

"when will happiness come my way?"
Stinko~

there is an emotion which i cannot explain...i'm suddenly qutie serious (those hu noe mi noe how slack i am...), maybe its cuz mi Biz Com and ITIPJ presentation is 2 days away, but i think it a little too late...mi feel so sorri for the group which i'm in...cannot contribute in anyway...sian...anyway, i hope to get this whole thing over with asap...i believe i would be going to have a wild time after wed's 2 presentations...maybe go crazy at a PUB or at someone's place...may the gods above give mi the blessing to get past these 2 days "unharmed"...

"It is at times like this when one hopes to experience a miracle..."
Stinko...sighing through this period....

u noe... i used to think that my only career that is left suitable for mi was a businessman...now...i no longer think that...why is dat??? cuz i dun noe how to grab opportunities...or rather i dunno how to make good use of these opportunities...in turn...these opportunities juz leave...sigh...and u neber noe when they r gonna come back...if i am such a person who doesnt noe how to grab these opportunities and make full use of them....how am i gonna be a good business man...???

i've suddenly realised a pattern...in pri sch...i was onli ever seriously interested in 2 gals...in sec sch...i was also onli ever serious in 2 gals...and now in poly...i have also onli ever been serious in 2 gals...another similarity...i have been rejected by all the gals...simple to figure out...maybe being gay is good afterall...

"sigh...should there be any words dat can describe mi...its...failure...and i fully agree and submit to this word..."
Stinko...ever the useless philosopher

Wat has the world come to nowadays....sigh....i see so many things that i dun wanna see...frens getting hurt, frens crying, ppl backstabbing, ppl onli thinking abt saving their own ass...its real sad... realli sad...this sem has made mi see alot of things...alot of things i never saw in the past...especially during this period...sometimes i think of my own prob, and i compare it to the probs dat my frens r having....i find that my prob is way more shallow than wat they r facing...sometimes...in order to be a good guy...u have to let the bastards and bitches have their way...sigh...i believe in buddhism...and i believe in karma...but why the hell arent these assholes given wat they deserved...its realli hard to be a good guy....it realli is...

i want this period to be over ASAP...its too tiring to even live through one day...sigh...

"a leopard never changes its spots......rather...there are only more spots over the time...and these r usually bad spots...if u noe wat i mean..."

sigh...times are bad...realli bad...bad for mi...i lost my portable harddisk from the IT fair at 250 bucks...2 weeks later...lost in school...heart break man...and also a whole lot of projects are coming up this period...CRM, MR, XML test, ITIPJ, biz comm...sigh...and i still cant find a motivation to keep mi going...prevent mi frm slacking...sigh...

if there is anything that is going rite...it is abt the family...family car to be exact...finally changing it...after 7 yrs of Mitsubishi Spacewagon...father decided to go for a Toyota Altis...not that he didnt like the old car...juz dat the car was giving a little bit too much probs lately...so he tot of changing car sooner rather than later...now with the new car...sigh...family's finance might be stretched alittle...so all the more make mi more determind to contribute to the family ASAP!!!~

"Amazing but true...all spiders are poisonous...only that most species do not have big enough fangs to penetrate the skin..."

maybe i deserve a wake up call...but wat TC Tan (tok cock tan) gave mi was way more than dat...like a discrimination...it was quite clear he was biased against mi...its not as if i was the one who stole his car number plate (rite now i wish i was)...dun let mi see his car around...serious...

"what's the prob with you? i didint even step on your toe!!! no wonder you're still an impot*nt bachelor..."
a pretty pissed off stinko

i'm gonna be quite philosophical today...

happened iz dat mi eldest uncle came over to my place to help fix up a shelf in the utiliy area...after dat...the same thing happned...the chat btwn be father and him...once again...learnt quite abit of stuff...and once again...its pretty sad...

my uncle and father were the least favored of the 7 children...i think there was another 1 or 2 more children...but they were given away...mi father nearly became one of those given away...maybe its becuz of how my grandparents treated my uncle and father that they turned out to be this way...my uncle actually holds a grudge with his parents...til this day...but...thing comforting thing is...he still does wat he has to as a son...as for my father...i'm surprised how well he coped with dat fact abt being almost given away...for all i noe...he certainly holds no grudge...and is as filial a son can get...sigh...

i cant blame my uncle for bearing this grudge...being treated the way he was as a kid...but at the end of the day, its up to him of how he wants to think and do...in his case...he holds the grudge...for mi father...he juz tells mi..."true that my parents have not treated mi in the best way...but in the end...you onli have 1 father...why hate him?" i agree with mi father...

it is after this conversation btwn them dat makes mi all the more determined to be as a filial a son can get...i want to make sure my father lives well and not worry abt anything for the rest of his life...sigh...i believe in karma...so for wat ever mi father sacrificed for his parents...i'll do more than dat!

"At the end of the day...you choose wether you wanna be a good guy...or a bad guy...regardless of whether wat you went through in the past..."

Next week...quite a big week, got a CRM test coming up, got a UI demo to show, got a driving lesson under assesment, wat else...nothing i hope...mi felt guilty today during the meet up with Mdm Tay...anyone in the class can easily see dat i'm hardly putting in any effort in contributing to the team...sigh...felt realli guilty juz now...mi realli a burden to any team...sigh...finally got my spoilt wireless router replaced, bought it from the IT fair...BUT...my rooms PC has to break down...i think its the casing's power switch prob...the motherboard light is still on...so it cant be the power supply...have to bring it down to the PC shop tomoro...have to fix it ASAP...sigh...so many probs...still gotta control this temper of mine...

"To live a happier life...be more forgiving...but...but...but...some things u juz dun forgive...and a leopard never changes its spots..."

My temper has been flaring very frequently these few days...its a bad thing...i noe...i dunno wat has happened...mi temper's getting shorter by the day...i tot my temper was improving...now its like dat...it juz takes 1 thing at the start of the day to spoil the next 24 hrs...sigh...i dunno wat to do or think anymore...i think its time i go see my diary...its been a long time since i last wrote in my diary...sigh...

"i realli hate myself..."

its seems like this period is the devil's playtime...many people seem to be having problems...serious problems...sigh...to the ppl out there...i pray for you to have peace within yourselves...this way, the problems would be so much easier to solve...sad ah sad ah... see mi frens sad i also sad...

"Serenity starts from the inner peace that's inside everyone of us..."
Stinko, aspiring but foolish philosopher

6th Mar 2004, was a very good day! Although my driving did not improve...the day was good! The bbq was a success! But i have to give credit to the people who orchestrated the event! Thanx alot people! you guys know who you are!!! give urself a pat on the back! And to the people who came for the bbq, thanx for coming and helping in finishing the food(actually there iz quite abit of leftovers!). Too bad everything muz come to an end, and good things always end faster...so sad, school reopen le...more tests and exams le...more sad things le...sigh...so many things, hope these sad things can quickly pass!!! then can enjoy again!!! wahahahahaha!

PS: mi thinking of doing the BBQ again...for mi bday...dunno feasible anot...

"To be happy means to think simple, to think simple means not thinking too far ahead, to not think far ahead means to have no future, to have no future means a hard life, a hard life means to suffer, to suffer means to be unhappy...eh...doesnt equate the first quote..."
Stinko, juz some crap thought

been quite tiring mentally these few days...dun ask why, this holiday hasn't been all dat good...though its a welcome break from sch work, hehe. I think frm now on...i'm gonna see alot of changes, whether for the better for worse i dun noe...but things r gonna change...sigh

anyway, there's gonna be a class gathering, AT MY PLACE!!! cuz mi place here got BBQ pit, so choose my place lor. Mi dun mind realli! its all for the fun of it...though i can almost gaurantee at some point in time i will be showing a black face, happens everytime i organise an event...its my temper...hope not though...but the BBQ's gonna turn out fine!!! Our personal mentor also coming along...unbelievable...believe it!

Come to think of it...i need to clean up my room!!!! ARGH!!!! NIGHT MARE!!!!! gotta have to do dat soon...if not...die...hope and pray everything with go smoothly!!!

"the simplest of action like the flutter of a butterfly's wing can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world..."
The butterfly effect, not by Stinko! wahahaha

hello people, how's life? good i hope...u noe...i come to realise (as always), there can never be peace...well it depends to wat degree of peace u wanna tok abt :) international peace, national peace, racial harmony and peace, civil peace, family peace and finally friends' peace...wahhaha (its crap...i noe)...i'm can sense dat i'm already going through a fog of war...i dunno anything anymore...

LOTR won all its 11 nominations for the Oscar's...nice...deserved too in my opinion...mi sec sch teacher iz gonna lend mi a book on the details of LOTR, talks and elaborates more on Middle Earth...can't wait to get the book~

now having holidays...pretty nice feeling...hehe...partly cuz mi damn slack...however, i hope to be more productive from now on bah...

"Complexity is made up of many simplicities"
a guy with expensive experience, to Stinko(Aspiring but hopeless philosopher)

Good morning people!!! wahaha! doing mi ITIPJ thingie...had a nap earlier on, pity the other 3 gals in mi team, at this time still up and not having a nap beforehand...so sad...

Mi juz bought bought a new book "The Bartimaeus Trilogy: The Amulet of Sarmarkand" its a story close to Harry Potter :) Thanx to Lingxuan hu got the book for mi! anyway, dun think i can start this book in the near future...even though my 1-week break iz nxt week...sigh

To Max and Doreen, u 2 lovebirds may have quarrels at times, but mi noe dat u 2 luv each other, so treasure each other! u 2 have my most sincere blessings!

To "mother" & "father", u 2 arh...always so mushy...mi see liao kana goosebumps, so jealous, anyway good lah, see u 2 finally find true happiness, after the bad past u 2 had...mi wish u guys all the happiness in the world!

To Sim Lim and Yaocong...make up ur mind!!! wahahahahahaha!!!!

"Meditation is an enlightenment...i do it everyday! wahahaha"
Stinko, aspiring but hopeless philosopher

i've been stuck on wat to blog for the past 20 mins...keep typing then delete and so on...juz dunno how to put it into words really...monkhood isn't so bad after all...it takes away the worries of the world (although there are monks who have bachelor degrees..LOL~) too many things in this world i see and i sigh...gimme the peace and senerity that the world needs bah!

"the environment and background makes a person..."
Stinko, aspiring and forever depressed philosopher

eh...i'm in a pretty bad condition now...i got pretty briused leg...a pretty sun-burnt face...and a pretty aching body...think i'm gonna "meditate" early tonite...although supposed to do my International Business Assignment...dun bother...there's still tomoro...the reason i got those injuries r cuz of a soccer competition today...won the first match by 4-0, but lost the second match 3-1 though...good games on the overall...sigh...juz hate myself that i always "gabra"...sianzzz...some more not power in soccer...

The more i look and think of the world...the more depressed i become...LOL...sad lah...i do believe in karma (thanx to my father!~)...but it juz doesnt seem to affect some people...i see good people around being played by fate, never getting wat they deserve...and evil bastards roaming free like nobody's business...LOL...joking lah...dun listen to mi...

i juz realised...i've got 5 unbuilt Gundam models...OMG...how? like dat lor...wat to do? hope i can finish up these models by the end of the year(its feb onli !!!)...gotta have to curb my interests in them...this hobby of mine realli sucking up my money dry...i think i'll juz go for 1 last model in my midn rite now...and hold it there...dat model costs $160 i think...

Anyway...next week iz gonna be pretty stressful for everybody, soooooo...wish the best for everybody and that things will go smoothly throughout...

going and out...~

"ARGH!!!~ My freaking leg hurts!!! ARGH!!!~"
Stinko, Aspiring but stupid philosopher

他們說城市 男不壞女不愛
怎麼想也不明白 媽媽說真心愛
會愛得很精彩
結果我沒有女孩
笨小孩依然是
堅強得像石頭一塊
只是晚上寂寞難耐

Wish - Something desired or longed for
Hope - To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment

Both of which i have given up on...y? i dunno...carry on being a 笨小孩 bah...

Gonna have a test in less than 12 hrs time...i have hardly done any revising...i dun like wednesdays...i onli have 2 lessons, but both lessons are taught by lecturers which i dun like...my attitude and mood swing prob seem to be getting frm bad to worse...lol...muz go "meditate" more :)

i always seem to be a step behind...no matter wat i do...whether i noe it or not...maybe dats wat qualifies mi as a 笨小孩~
Anyway, good luck to all for tomoro's test...gambatte kudasai~

"can somebody wake up a 笨小孩's idea? hahaha! "

To those who celebrated Valentine's day, hope it was smooth...to those hu r single...hehe...its juz another day for u and mi...apart frm mi driving lesson in the morning, and my work at suntec, in the evening, mi stayed over at mi fren's place...mi fren actually did a BBQ feast...gotta take my hat off him...Micheal, Cheers!!!! this guy...i would luv to have his guts...or Sean of DIT also...another guy with full of guts and 'balls'...lol...Sean ah, may ur 2 loved ones be blessed forever! To Rick & Krista...u 2 love birds r realli in a honeymoon, and may it stay dat way always :)

the feeling of helplessness iz here again...aiyo..the sch assignments and tests...scary man...i realli wonder how i'm gonna survive this sem...each sem getting more and more slack...despite dat each sem gets harder than the next...how??? like dat lor...wat to do???

this few weeks has been useless...i still get the same thing...in a way...i noe the result at least...nvm...depression has already become a good fren of mine...happiness seems to be so far away now...juz an acquintence...a "hi, bye" fren...

good nite everyone!

"i hope to be enlightened and simplifed one day..."
an as*h*le who hates himself...

there's gonna be alittle bit of getting used to arnd for the future to come...its gonna be a good change :) hey, to the couples out there, happy advanced Valentine's Day...to the singles...there is a big big big big big big big big big big big forrest out there...but mi dun tink any of the trees in the forrest will like the single over here...no matter...my so called "father" told mi, "the more u get bitten, the less shy u get..." wonder y it applies exactly the opposite way for mi...

我以為要是唱得用心良苦　你總會對我多點在乎
我以為雖然愛情已成往事　千言萬語說出來可以互相安撫

期待你感動　真實的我們難相處　寫詞的讓我　唱出你要的幸福
誰曾經感動　分手的關頭才懂得　離開排行榜　更銘心刻骨

我已經相信　有些人我永遠不必等
所以我明白　在燈火闌珊處　為什麼會哭
你不會相信　嫁給我明天有多幸福
只想你明白　我心甘情願　愛愛愛愛到要吐

那是醉生夢死　才能熬成的苦
愛如潮水　我忘了我是誰　至少還有你哭

我想唱一首歌給我們祝福　唱完了我會一個人住
我願意試著瞭解從此以後　擁擠的房間一個人的心有多孤獨

我已經相信　有些人我永遠不必等
所以我明白　在燈火闌珊處　為什麼會哭
你不會相信　嫁給我明天有多幸福
只想你明白　我心甘情願　愛愛愛愛到要吐

讓我斷了氣　鐵了心愛的過火　一回頭就找到出路
讓我成為了無情的Ｋ歌之王　麥克風都讓我征服
想不到你　若無其事的說　這樣濫情　何苦

我想來一個吻別　作為結束　想不到你只說我不許哭　不讓我領悟

"the day a tree accepts this single guy, iz the day this guy attains enligthenment"
Stinko, Aspiring but no hope philosopher...

harlow, back after a break...still pretty sian of everything...no aim rite now...so many things to do...so little time...and best of all...dun feel like doing...sigh...the forum box server seems to have broke down...gotta find another forum box...
everything is in a stalemate...stagnant...

i have "45" sitting 10 metres across mi...i see myself and i sigh...why???cuz mi noe mi stupid...noe cannot get still think abt it...dunno wanna get her a present for v day or not...shld i waste my money after the amt i spent??? i'm a little broke liao...some more now got the new insurance to support...sian....................may be going ktv later...go sing sad love song...

小叮噹　不愛回家喫飯
寧願在大安公園捉迷藏
看明月光　低頭不思故鄉
寧願看漫畫不聽媽媽的評彈

孩子們只會貪玩　父母都只會期望
為什麼天南地北不能互相體諒
蟋蟀對著螳螂　有什麼東西好說
shall we talk shall we talk
好像過去牽著手去上學堂

# 請你說　我們為何變成陌路人的模樣
請你說　還有什麼比沈默更難堪
難道互相隱藏
就能避免了失望
表白有什麼可怕
請你不怕為難不要拐彎

屏幕閃亮　兩個人一起看
什麼都不談只敢打著官腔
情侶的晚餐　白開水一樣淡
寧願面對著一部電腦無事忙

情侶都善於說謊　大人都會向錢看
為什麼天南地北不能互相體諒
蟋蟀對著螳螂　有什麼東西好說
shall we talk shall we talk
好讓我們重新認識別隱瞞

Repeat #

請你說　請你說出心裡難以承受的傷
不能說　除非我們早已忘記了愛的力量
聊天只能假裝　表情需要勉強
何必把這種遺撼　帶到未來的天堂

天黑黑　孩子們不在身旁
都跑到外面幹活愛吃便當
and shall we talk 只有樹葉搖晃
沈默到聽得見那如歌的行版

"Life is never fair...so get over it..."
Aspiring but stupid philosopher, Stinko

i have juz gone through one of the worst days of my life...serious...nothing ever went rite...too bloody pissed with myself!!!

dun tok to mi...

So blog, how's life? Its been a while now! Quite abit of stuff has happened...some good some bad...But...First and formost, a very Chinese Happy New Year to All! Muz be in an upbeat mood, smile smile! there are a few good things, this semester, i onli have 2 final papers, haha! other good things include mi getting my Freedom Gundam 1/60 , Blitz Gundam 1/100 and Gundam Astray Red Frame 1/144!!! not cheap though, got my young sis present too, an LOTR edition Risk board game! oh yar...mi mother actually got a PS2 and an Olympus digital cam with compliments from Orchard Hotel...things r certainly looking good...but nothing can remain perfect :)

on the eve of CNY, father, eldest uncle and myself went downstairs mi grandpa place coffee shop for "coffee"...i almost got myself drunk...mi uncle can realli hold liquor man...anyway, during dat conversation...mi found out abt alot of unpleasant things abt the whole family...politics and reasoning and such...sad man...fancy hearing such things on CNY eve...later 4th uncle joined us...the topic switched to eh...cars i think...then got the call from mother to go up for makan liao...

if there iz one wish i hope will be fulfilled would be to have lesser desires and greater contentment...i'm a little tired of my life realli...becoming quite of a chore...sad to say...i'm even feeling guilty sometimes of spending so much on my gundams...sigh...i can actually imagine myself going for monkhood...serious...

however...shld i continue to persue a normal life...i wanna make sure dat my parents will not need to continue working and toiling for their lives when they shld be enjoying life instead...i wanna make sure dat they do not face the same problems dat they are facing as children to their parents (get wat i mean???) juz wanna give them a peaceful life...they would be the ones who will hold me back from being an as*h*le!

if u guys notice...there iz 1 issue dat i have never ever discussed in this blog...dat matter iz abt gals...u guys shld noe i never have any luck with gals...dun think i'll ever have anyway......however, i wanna give my best wishes to those who r in a relationship (beng, crystal, ben, gera, meli, [doreen and max], emily, xin hui) and those in pursuit of their crush (lim...make up ur mind!), hehe! Gambattee min na san!

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as someone famous once said that, it applies...it really does, just that often there many wolves in sheeps' clothings these days..."
Aspiring philosopher, Stinko

I juz realised that this blog has taken up business from my diary, as in my diary book! i hardly written anythin in there for countless months...sad...promise myself to write somethin in mi diary...(come to think of it, i hardly write anything in my diary...) A new semester has started, but i dun feel like studying...most worrying now iz my semester long project, haven thought of a feasiblr idea to work on...had 1 idea in mind, but was shot off by TC TAN ( aka Tok Co*k Tan). where have all my creative juices gone to? i used to have them...but dat was like more than a decade ago...i wanna go back to being a kid...how nice dat would be...sian boh!!!!!!

"Sometimes, whats meant to be will be, if not, don't force it...it'll create disaster, whether big or small"
Aspiring philosopher, Stinko

Happy New Year people, in fact...mi gotta go sch in a few hours time...so why the hell am i still awake??? now doing my last minute revision for mi final theory later...all the 11th hr studying...a glance of things to come...anyway, finished mi 2 gundams liao, freedom and justice gundam...damn they look good...changed a few other gundams' postures and placings around mi room...had nothing to do...my other 2 gundams which i intended to buy no stock! so fed up...sigh...juz hope and pray dat this sem will be better than the last 3... good luck and all the best to the coming new year!

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."
The prophecy refering to Harry Potter and Lord Voldermort