the world makes u feel even more like crap~

Becuz SAF has a new directive saying dat all MCs have to be endorsed by the camp's Medical Officers, i had to drag my sorry ass out of bed early in the morning to go back camp...but wat happens when i report to the medical center?

Medic:"Can i help u?"
Stinko:"i'm here to endorse my MC"
Medic:"Oh, u can onli endorse your MC from 1400hrs onwards"
Stinko:*stunned "huh? wats the logic?"
Medic:"its stated here in the Medical Center Directives, see!"
*Medic then points at a signboard stating the different timings
Stinko: (-_-") "Doesnt answer the question..."

Mi then proceeded to finding my sergeant get the green light to go home first instead of waiting til 2pm...while doing so...i had to come under the scrutiny of some of my UIP(Unit Induction Program) mates...so i have taken MC not long ago...so i have juz extended my MC this time round...u got prob? haven u f**kers heard there's a serious case of flu epidemic flying around? or r u guys too engrossed with ur PSPs? playing with them all day long as if ur life depended on it??? dun be so f**king shallow to think dat ppl hu fall sick r always "chao geng"...

to make matters worse...i suspect one of those bast**ds hid my latest series of Adrian Mole's Diaries somewhere, maybe they've thrown it away, maybe they've teared it into pieces...or even used its pages to wipe their sorry asses...on a normal day i would have hunted down the culprit...but becuz i was too weak, too lethargic...i didnt give a damn...

now dat i think of it...wat have i ever done to piss these f**kers? i was a stranger to them as much as they were to me when we were all posted to this unit...b4 dat i had no interaction with these guys b4!!! all the more it makes mi wanna crack their balls cut off their di*ks for being such di*kheads...seriously...

"Dun aggravate my temper when i'm sick...do dat and i promise u when i recover...u'll see something from mi which even the bitchiest bitch fit would look like a kid's tantrum...so f**k off~"

I feel like crap~

becuz i slept for less than 8 hrs over the weekend...because i have a weak anti-body system...becuz i heed advice to rest more...i've once again ended p sick again...think this is the first time my fever has been dat bad...b4 panadol was 39 degrees, after panadol...was 38.5...WTF!!! even panadol couldnt bring my fever down...was tossing and turning last nite in bed the whole nite...wonder if my "like to sweet talk masturbating" bunk mate below was cursing mi under his breath...hmmm...

so instead of going for the SAF Day Parade rehearsal...mi played punk and went to see the doc instead...honestly didnt expect much, except to be excused from vigorous activities...but the veri veri veri veri veri kind doc gave mi 2 days MC! shiok! though mi still feeling like crap...imagine i can blackout from juz standing up and having to control my steps becuz of my aching body...ouch...

"Wonder if the heartache had anything to do with mi falling sick dat badly...mind over matter?"

ouch...

while outside with the poly gang of guys earlier on yest(rare outing)...saw something which caused quite a heart piercing pain...ouch...though i'm still alive...i'm wondering why...dun people die of pain?

then when i got home...once again...fate has to play with mi...father's using the com in my room, so i have to rot in the living room first...i switch on the tv and it EXACTLY shows the part where the gal calls the guy a bastard(he deserved it...) and leaves the guy...ouch...damn it man...

then juz b4 all these...i was reading Adrian Mole's Diary and our dear fren's wife juz left him cuz he so happens to be a bastard as well...how cool...sigh...

i'm too emotionally weak to be a guy la...let mi go thailand be a trans...how abt dat???

A wanderer's life...a fictional guy's life!

i think i'm reading too much of Adrian Mole...and its either i'm getting more and more influenced by him or...i'm too similar to him...esp the part where he always manages to piss juz abt everyone, ESPECIALLY his loved ones! going to the extent of forcing them to leave him...all unknowingly to himself...sad guy...

anyway, i realised i muz realli do something abt my fitness now...yest went for IPPT, my fitness dropped like a cannon ball into the water(Mole uses description like dat...)!!! and the worst part is i'm feeling sore all over my body...esp my back...dats realli bad...muz go toughen myself up le...if not later mati like the Commando Officer 2 days ago...poor guy...sigh...rest in peace fellow comrade...

Life is pretty boring...realli boring...its either playing my new PC game, reading Mole's diaries...or following my father around to makan...oh...and of course...serve my time NS in camp...

"she's right! the ring from dat particular brand doesnt last...has lost its shine...still wearing it nevertheless..."

Promising u everything, but delivering nothing...how typical...

Today, or rather...a couple of hrs back...i was prevented from attending one of my best buddies' bday bash...buddy Beng has been one of my closest fren since poly times and were even posted to the same place during the first 6 months of our miserable NS life...so we shared alot of stuff and he even helped mi out from countless sticky situations...

so u could imagine the disappointment i had when i realised i couldnt attend his bday celebration...i need to find someone or something to blame and curse..if not i wont feel shiok...so i chose...the organization dat's feeding mi a feeble allowance of 700 bucks per month...

cuz i had SAF Day parade rehearsal...i tot i would onli be a little late for his bday thingie...but was i late? NOOOOOOOOOO! i couldnt go in the end cuz the rehearsal ended 3 hrs behind time...how cool rite? and juz in the afternoon the sergeant major was saying how hard we've worked and we deserved an early break...TA MA DE~end up...praise also no use...re-do and re-do and re-do and re-do and re-do...u get the idea...

and this particular organization is still short changing me my allowances...where's my sergeant pay? where's my IPPT silver award monetary reward? and wat the hell happened to my off days??? i'm supposed to have 14 days annual leave!!! (record says i'm left with 5 and a half days left for the rest of the yr...WTF!!!)

u wanna add icing on the cake? sure! once again, lady luck's ass farted into my face again...i'm doing guard duty for this sunday...yes another weekend...sigh...i've resigned to fate...go read Adrain Mole le...console myself alittle...

"one thing i realised...A.Mole and mi have a similarity...we're idiots when it comes to girls..."

PS: i'm currently reading "The Wilderness Years of Adrain Mole"...the book actually has some interesting facts...will enlighten u next round...

~start-stop life~

I'll be doing quite abit of booking out and booking in...cuz...although i'm supposed to be on a block leave...i'm suddenly thrown in the SAF Day parade...so...whenever there are rehearsals...i have to book in...sigh...at least i get to book out...so will try not to complain too much...

2 days back...while i was having rehearsal...father messaged mi...

Dad:"are u free?"
Stinko:"Having rehearsal, y?"
Dad:"can u come to hospital?"
Stinko:"now? tink can onli evening time...grandma condition veri bad?"
Dad:"k"

sigh...i knew it...something was wrong...but b4 i could rush back to camp after my rehearsal...

Dad:"dont need to come down"
Stinko:"y?"
Dad:"false alarm..."

this is getting to be so much like my grandpa's case...false alarms...

so while i'm always on the standby should anything happen to grandma...i shall indulge myself in the book dat started mi in writing a diary(and now a blog...), it is the Adrian Mole Diaries! its realli funny...as in this guy is so painfully honest with himself dat it makes u feel better abt urself...no matter how bad u r...

"after calculating my monthly expenditure...i juz realised dat i'm left with onli 300 bucks to play with every month...omg..."

Fast fast weekend...

And so the weekend has past...so fast...too fast...sigh...though i think i have made the most of it...i think...

From my bookout on fri nite(yes nite...), went to find the V6 gang at marina south for steamboat(Lim's bday)...followed by catching the World Cup opening game at Wei's place...because all the guys had a monetary purpose in watching the game...they were so much more into the game than i was...i was simply enjoying watching the beautiful game...(i think they still lost abit in the end...)

B4 the second game started, i was already on my way up to the bedroom heading for Lala land, but not b4 hearing them chanting abt betting odds and chances of winning...there went friday...

Sat was pretty eventful...got home since 8 plus am, onli to find my parents already up and ready to go out...so out i went with them for makan as well as some grocery shopping...

Rotted at home for awhile b4 going to visit my grandma...she's still in hospital...and easily a couple of kg lighter...she has lost so much weight...sigh...and seeing the suffering dat she's going thru...reminds mi of the time when my grandpa was about to leave us...

after dat met up with brudders leon, M.Y. and co...dunno why but i cheer up and open up to them everytime we meet...we all noe each other inside out...we're dat close...watched "silent hill" too...bloody good show...the guys kept complaining abt the ending...though i had no qualms...i was happy with the show...then it was back home...4 plus am le...

Sunday was sooooooooo short...cuz i onli woke up in the afternoon...the onli thing eventful was father's day dinner at Swa Garden in Macpherson road...go try...its bloody good! esp the teochew dessert "oni"...

though i wont say i had a bad weekend...i'm still sighing all the time...cuz of my grandma being in hospital...with father not recovered yet...he's temper as well...and my mother not making things any easier...they all got their reason to throw their temper...but wat has happened to all the compromise dat couples r supposed to give each other? sigh...i'll be booking into camp with a heavy heart...

"oh Adrian Mole, my mentor...enlighten mi...with your diaries"

Rediscovering myself...

So wat have i done during my rotting period at home these few days? quite abit actually, like wat my previous entry wrote, back into channel surfing...downloading/watching anime and movies(yes, i'm cheapo!)...playing online games(my younger sis has conned mi into playing neopets again! can u believe it??? and i'm hooked!!!), play around with websites like youtube or Grouper(its where i got this MTV...), tweak my blog template abit here and there...not to forget...do the house chores...yes...i do the house chores...

say for example...this morn...dad and younger sis decided to watch X-Men 3, so i drove them to westmall before proceeding home to wash the dishes, fold the clothing etc...BUT...not before blasting the bloody speakers to its max...i swear i could stand in any part of the house and still hear the music loud and clear! Now dat...is life...a bachelor's life :) i might juz be able to get used to it...juz might...

"so back i go to suffer in camp where i feel my bed shaking once again!"

A good break

rite now, instead of being in camp doing some pointless stuff or rotting in bunk, i'm in the comfort of my own home resting...why is dat? cuz.......i'm on MC! i got a good break til tomoro, which is a good thing...cuz i seriously think i need the break...

doc says i have an infection, and its going to the lungs, so...i dun think it'll be too dramatic to say i have lung infection rite? cuz dats wat i'm gonna say when i get back to camp...at least it can justify the long break :)

now i can enjoy the comfort of my own bed, own room...instead of always having to tolerate the guy who sleeps below mi(We sleep on double decker beds, and i sleep on top)...why tolerate him? cuz he seems to be masturbating every nite, as the bed shakes non stop way into the wee hrs of the nite, if not he would be talking on the phone and making sure the whole bunk can hear him...i'm not kidding...give u one good example..

"Hello, wat u doing?"*
"talking to u lor"
"ask u ah, where to buy laptop"*
"can go funan, or sim lim even better"
"oh, u soooo clever!!!"*
"No lah, i noe abit onli..."

*not accurate conversation dialogue

imagine i have been tolerating this type of conversation and bed-rocking sensation for the past week...still, going back tomoro le..sigh...juz glad i got this break...

And since i have been rotting at home, i've actually done something which i haven done in a long time, and dat is to sit infront of the tv aimlessly broswing channels...and caught a few good shows too...there was Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewifes and scrubs! while watching Grey's Anatomy, something which one of the characters said sounded so true...shall end off here for the time being...

"My boy, to be with someone whom u love with all your heart, yet he/she can't reciprocate the same feelings for you...its lonelier than being lonely"

Lady Luck has never shown her ass to mi as much as now...

sigh...i think this blog might get alittle too long...read my header...dats how i'm realli feeling rite now...ever since i enlisted as an NSF...every time i had to do some regimental duties...i would lose out more than usual...let mi explain...

In BMT, my first ever guard duty had to happen on a weekend...burning some of my precious time...

In Sispec BSLC, i was Company Duty Trainee...again on a weekend...do wat? sit in company office surfing tv channels and read newspaper 4 times over...

In Sispec Aslc, again guard duty while the rest of the company had night's out...

Now in my new unit, tuesday kanna guard duty again...the rest of them get the night off...

if dat's not enough...i have to go back tomoro again for weekend guard duty...tell mi..."tian li her zai"????? (where is the justice?????)

sigh...its times like these when its realli hard to pick urself up...esp whatever happen juz not long ago...u cant find the support u need sometimes...but!!! i'm a guy!!! muz face problems as a man!!!(if onli i really meant dat...)

anyway, though mi now at bukit panjang camp...might be posted back to pasir laba camp (back to where Sispec is) to undergo another training...to be a MG commander!!! its the ball dropping General purpose machine gun dat i get to play with...hehehe :)

recently got to chat with a good fren of mine...and learnt a very valuable lesson...

"its a good way to build up a good relationship, understanding of what you want, having trust, cherish more...basically less is more..."

eh...we were in the topic of how come she and her bf dun meet up veri often...dats when she came to say this...i think i still have alot to learn...i'm still a kid...

i've been calling home these past few days...things dun look good...grandma's still in hospital...dad's fallen sick too...cuz he's been going down everyday to look after her...sigh...and he's not young himself...sigh...if onli i can try to contribute to the family more...

everything seems to be in a stalemate now...emotionally, mentally...except maybe my fitness might go up juz a little tiny notch...the training there cant be taken lightly...hmmm...

"i dunno wat to do anymore...sigh...someone pls gimme some direction?"