grown up matters

I am at an age where my peers are talking about really grown up matters..such as career, housing, cars, marriage, babies...among others...

while many of these topics are not exactly foreign...i still kind of find it surreal that its time that i am, and should be, talking about such stuff..the feeling of being grown up...is kinda scary..

and while some of my frens are happily married, i juz came across one of my frens being proposed...and how sweet it was...and yes...while it was a sweet video, i have to highlight that she was my first ever crush in primary sch...and that was like...14 yrs ago!!! I wish my first ever crush all the best, heh~

work is not much good...with more work coming in before i could give it out...damn..and with my prior stupid action...which i realli realli regret now...i doubt my work will go noticed nor rewarded...i juz hope i dun click the button...

unlucky me

at times i ponder if i tend to be too lucky and unlucky...i tend to appreciate it when situations turn out in my favor, and that seems to happen quite abit..although the same can be said of the opposite...and that...seems to be happening alot alot alot alot alot alot more frequent now...and it has cost mi quite abit...

and with the slump at work productivity and satisfation, along with the recent nitemare that i had (why can't i remember sweet dreams instead?), i only hope things will get better from here on...

oh the irony...

*Boss calls while i'm watching a movie...i hanged up...but msged her instead...

Stinko: in a movie, anything?

Boss: the *&^%$^&*(*&^%$#%^&*()&^%$^&*(&^%$ (a load of gibberish work she told me to do earlier) can already, please do it up by tomorro (which was National Day Holiday)

Boss: anyway what show are you watching?

Stinko:er...Horrible Bosses...

of disappointment and contempt

Since returning from wearing the green uniform to the corporate one...i realised much hasn't changed, and if there is any..it ain't for the better...

its really disheartening and disappointing that despite all that you have done, and what has been thrown upon you, leaving you at times overwhelmed...your superior does not recognise the effort, but instead throws more upon you and fault you for negligible matters...

its even more disheartening that the same negligible effects are of no concern when done by other personnels, or even more so at times...to add salt to the wound...they get the praise and "recognition"... *facepalm*

i am honestly disillusioned with work rite now...

wearing green and tasting grass and mud...again...

and so for the past 2 and a half weeks..i donned on the green uniform that helped me lose more than juz my weight...

4 years was the last time i touched the 120mm mortar artillary gun...and long gone was my knowledge...so it took a while to refresh everything...it didnt help that i got assigned to the most tiring detachment...but the guys helped...and i suspect i'm gonna be with this group of guys for the long run...i think thats a good thing...

while i more or less enjoyed myself during this reservist...i made some big boo boos...like almost losing my camp pass...giving wrong instructions more than once...and sunk a military vehicle into soft ground...heh...got stuck pretty badly there...but oh well..

now back to work...

of official closures and beginnings

tomorrow...i shall be officially graduating from Uni...heh...despite working for almost a year already...nonetheless...a form of closure for mi...of the times i've been thru...i would say it was fun :)

so much for the importance of convocation and graduation, i've gotta head back to work shortly after that...heh...at least its to plan for going to RWS and USS...then again...been there....done that...nonetheless...work is work...

after much procrastination, i'm finally settling the transfer of ownership for the car...its a expensive hassle...but gotta be done...sigh...hopefully can make it official by next week..not gonna be tinkering much with the car though...dun have the financial luxury now :(

Oh yeah..of another new beginning...i've finally picked up golf...heh...going thru some lessons now...managed to hit some decent shots...I"M SO HOOKED! but its an expensive sport...damn it...

perhaps to end off...i wanna officially tell myself to stop being such a pussy and get on with it...whatever it is...GO!

busy, depressing month

and so b4 we know it...we're entering the 2nd half of the year...damn it...and july doesnt seem to be a month i can slack off..sad :(

after various office commitments, i'll have to serve the nation, back to wearing green for awhile...lagi sad :(

something random...i'm quite the type who tend to have infatuations for a pretty long time~longest record i was infatuated with this gal in poly for 2 years (think 45..heh)...damn...i might fall into that again...though usually it means i'll end up nowhere...hmmm...bachelors' club anyone?

ill again~

juz when i tot i should realli get back to jogging again...i fall sick...so irritating...doesn't help that work juz starting to pile up again...disgusted that work juz gets thrown down so easily and irresponsibly, and unfairly...

been working despite running a fever since last nite til now..surviving on paracetamol..gonna knock out early tonite...in hope of feeling better tomoro...

first of more 21kms

and so lion king came and went, and i honestly enjoyed the show, for its costumes, props, theatrics. Its amazing how detailed and sophisticated the artwork and mechanism were invested into the whole production. so that wasn't a disappointment, in fact, enjoyed the show and the company.

this time yesterday (or rather last nite), i was huffing and puffing away cuz i was in the middle of my 21km run...sadly, 21km used to be easier...damn~ nonetheless, finished it...thanks to my running buddy...will be running 21km again in Sep...and then the dreaded 42km...still considering if i should do it again...seriously...

of jogging again, muscle aches, and an itching (potentially breaking) heart

becuz i haven ran for a freaking long time, and becuz i have put on a hell lot of weight, and and becuz my neighbourhood frenly army buddy psycho-ed mi, i signed up the sundown half-marathon...

so i have been jogging again recently with my army buddy...in a bid to survive 21km relatively unscathed...unfortunately becuz we were not as fit as b4 (at least i wasn't...) i could feel the aches in my hamstring, thigh, and calf muscles...

juz did a good 10km juz now...hope it'll be enough for us to survive our sundown...

on another note...tomoro (or rather, later), i'll be catching a musical which has had some raving reviews...hoping the nite will not be a disappointment, on more than 1 front...we shall see..if the nite ends well or not...

"There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not."

Lily Aldrin of "How I Met Your Mother"

older again...damn...

so older by another yr...took the opportunity to take some long break from work...6 good longs days in fact...common question that came up..."why didn't you go for holiday!?!?!?...qn was...no one to go with :P

12 May - celebrated with PA induction mates at Timbre...and got sabo-ed up to the stage...MALU!

13 May - rotted at home and watched How I Met Your Mother...to say i am hooked onto it is an understatement! Chilled out with uni guys for supper though...good catch up...though not long enough though i reckon...

14 May - Family Dinner at a seafood restaurant we always wanted to try...good...not fantastic...followed by movie! Fast & Furious 5...AWESOME!

15 May - Caught up with another batch of PA colleagues for movie! Priest...good..not fantastic~

16 May - caught up with a few other uni mates :) as well as played Halo with my poly gang of guys later on~

17 May - met up with my one and only god sis, Mitch~ lurve her! b4 heading to meet parents and mother's extended family for dinner at brudder M.Y. 's place.

god sis Mitch told mi a few enlightening stuff which i feel, some hopefully, some hopefully not, that might seem the case in future....damn...

1. I should likely lead a comfortable lifestyle...with finances not being a worry...should be...hopefully...

2. But i should likely not be able to find anyone to share my life with until i'm at least 30....damn....

oh well...back to work tomoro~

of elections and disappointments

and so the heat of the elections is over...some of my own reflections on these...

better men who should have served are not going to, while lesser personalities who have yet proven themselves or are already unworthy stay instead...such is politics...such is life...

My speculation is that Mr Yeo will continue to serve the nation as Ambassador-at-large for Singapore, bearing in mind that he is already very well-versed in foreign affairs, with our foreign counterparts expressing their sadness and disbelief at Mr Yeo's departure. As I was reading today's Straits Times, I came across an article written by Mr Tommy Koh, a gentleman whom i highly respect, and is coincidentally, Singapore's Ambassador-at-large. His article reads, "George Yeo: A man for all seasons". A really insightful review on the former Foreign Minister. I implore all to read the article should you have the opportunity.

Alas, to deal with disappointments is part and parcel of life. I wish Mr Yeo all the best...

short time...many happenings

and so i got the car...damn it..there goes my savings...but then i again...boy do i lurve the car!!! but lets juz leave it at that..

work has been a killer...without even a chance to clear my backlogs...gotta do so many "never-b4-done" kinda events...wazzup with that...???

to make things worse...higher ups think nothing of it, keep throwing more work down, expect them to be done well, on top of ur previous commitments...wazzup with that?

and it realli doesnt help when they dun recognize the hard work, and not approve of ur time offs when i've worked my butt off the most recent event with my colleague...wazzup with that?

damn i'm whining...and sleepy...knocked out~

CAR-dinal sin....

recently my brudder who juz got married offered to sell his car...and when i showed interest...he sweetened the deal for mi...oh such temptations...he's offered mi to drive the car for the week...have a feel...and let him know...should i? should i not?

dad says i should go for it...mother says nope...my heart says yes...and the head says no...goodness...the dialectical tensions...

*slaps forehead*

ironies...

the dog above is called courage...the irony is...he is hardly courageous...he is scared of anything and everything...another irony...despite his lack of courage...he usually saves the day thru his selfless acts...

I think many are facing the same situation in Japan...i believe everyone in Japan should be scared stiff rite now...you would be a fool not to be...but nonetheless...we see so many selfless acts in hope and faith to carry on living not just for themselves but for others around them as well...i realli hope the people of Japan will pull through this crisis...and be a stronger nation from this ordeal...

on another note...perhaps another irony...i'm surprisingly a little disillusioned with my line of work already...so early into the job...especially so soon after my new staff induction. Then again, perhaps it could be cuz i had so much fun at the induction. Made many new friends, veri good frens :) Hopefully, i'll have the determination to stay on, gain experience and see where this job leads mi...

on the last note...juz got to know that one of my brudders from V6 gang in poly times is attached! Happy for him realli :) He'sbeen through a fair bit..and he deserves a good partner...then at the back of my head...it struck mi...i'm the onli guy in the gang hu is still single..heh...oh well..people around mi are all getting attached or getting hitched...while i would like a companion...i think my line of work might not allow mi the luxury of spending quality time with my loved one...then again...who noes...

Post-Induction Withdrawal Syndrome

in the past 2 weeks, i havent been in office...becuz i had to attend the induction camp for new employees...initially...i was apprehensive...as i had already missed my first induction cuz of work...and since hearing how fun it was from my colleague...i tot i'd never be able to have as much fun...veri wrong i was...heh...induction was....AWESOME!!!

thru induction...i got to know that i aint the only one suffering from CO work...i got to know many more colleagues from other COs, i got for myself more nicknames during this induction more than any other time of my life, i got compared to elmo, other people's boyfren, and a certain gnome...i thoroughly enjoyed myself...damn its over...

and now...its back to work....sobz...

i cant imagine the amount of work piled up D:

of birthdays, valentine's day, and horrible people...

this song juz popped into my head...dun ask mi why...it juz did...anyway...

Happy belated birthday to the white girl (pun intended), who happily juz turned 21. I envy people who get to celebrate their 21st...cuz it juz reminds mi of how...interesting (euphemism applied here) mine was :P

and Happy Valentine's Day to all couples...and singles~ i'll be my boring self hibernating at home...taking a break at home is such a rarity nowadays...gotta treasure it...

and finally...had an frustrating amusing time with a fat, cocky and bootlicking bastard well-rounded, confident and smooth talking guy and a anorexic and temperamental bitch slim and fiesty lady...

*shakes head and sighs in resignation

random ramblings~

Random no 1: i need to ramble to someone/something abt work...i have no life b3cuz of work...

Random no 2: i hurt my back over the CNY period becuz i sat on the floor too long playing cards...and it still hurts...

Random no 3: had more than a few random ppl msging mi suddenly...a long time dear sch mate of mine, a close study buddy, and a rather...difficult to explain acquintence guy...

Random no 3.1: Dear sch mate of mine was a close buddy whom we had sincerely hoped to serve NS together, but lost contact after primary sch...and he suddenly msgs...a pleasant surprise :)

Random no 3.2: Close study buddy from uni suddenly msgs saying she's randomly msging ppl...and we msged on for awhile, same of the old times then

Random no 3.3: third guy is a funny one...he is rich (at least his family is), boasts of his family wealth all the time, including a car that has a prancing horse and a landed property with elevators...but thinks that driving to sentosa is "expensive" and hence wants to hitch a ride...i think i pissed him off when i replied "for a rich kid...you are a real miser..." there goes one less fren i guess :P

Random no 4: I want to chill out...i want to go timbre...i want back my life!!!

Random no 5: I need to start working out again~ FAILING IPPT IS NOT AN OPTION!!!

of the rabbit year and wat it brings

And so the long holiday has come and gone...grandma got discharged in time for reunion dinner on CNY eve..so thats a veri good thing :) i ate more than i should...not a veri good thing...i managed to meet up with some of my mates from poly and uni...a veri good thing :) i dunno wat i did...but my back is seriously aching like i'm 90 years old...veri veri bad thing...lastly...its my offday tomoro...but i think i gotta step into office nonetheless...bad bad thing...lets juz hope boss aint in office i'm i go in to clear work... :-/

of stress and not-so-happy-CNY

signs of when its time to take a back seat from work...

1. when u feel totally unproductive when its the best time to clear ur shit on a sunday evening in office...

2. when ur colleague thinks ur stressed for blasting a bunch of rowdy kids doing dangerous stunts...(i felt the blast was justified at least)

3. ur committee chairman (different from ur boss) tells you to take it easy while ur doing ur work...

heh...

i guess its a good time then that the CNY holiday period is here...take a long break...then again...

grandma's juz been admitted into hospital...hope things will be alrite...juz visited her...will visit her again...i hope i still get to have a reunion dinner with her...

to regret or not

Its coming to 5 am...and i'm not asleep yet...and i still gotta go work for awhile later despite being my off day...i'm so gonna regret this...

recently...i did something which i normally do when i'm out of sorts...i noe i'm most likely gonna regret it and nothing good will come out of it...nonetheless i still did it...thats the kind of idiot that i am...

although i guess thats whats realli troubling mi now...i should know better than to dwell on it...since its no longer within my control...(technically i still could...but...) lets go with the flow...

"and so the idiot of a boy has done it again...done something which he know he'll cone to regret..."

Work...and...Work

call me a whiner...but i honestly think i work alittle too much for my own good...cant rem when was the last time i met up with my friends....at least the most of them...time for me to take a step back..even if it means delaying some of my work (not that it already isnt delayed...) there are signs telling me to chill...

1. i'm pretty much hounded by not juz boss but my grassroot leaders and external agencies on the average of every 15 mins...

2. i pretty much can never rem a time when i could sit at my desk and feel that i have finished my work...

3. i rem my chairmen's email better than i can rem some of my closest friends...

and the last straw came last nite when of all things to dream..i dreamt abt work..where everyone...REALLY everyone...bombarded mi for messing up the big event that was yet to happen...people hu noe mi noe i dun usually rem my dreams...sigh...i cant rem dreaming abt smooching a hot lady but i rem getting blasted...

"i should learn from my colleague...carry more balls...this way ur hands will be too full to do any other work..."

Of pretty miss saigons and cheating viets~

And so I have gone and am back from the place famous for the play "Miss Saigon", water puppets, and the Vietcong. To say that it was happening would be an understatement...

1. i lost my voice for all 4 days i was there

2. i got teased all the time with the Viet girls

3. i blushed all the time becuz of that

4. i got cheated cheated of abt US$5 from a cabbie

5. i heard of people hu got snatched of their passports and cameras

6. i got to know my boss a little better...and i dare to say its the same for her...

7. i got to know more of my GRLs, and know them better

8. i showed them my working capabilities (or rather the lack of it...)

9. i'm glad that there were no major cock-ups...(actually i cant realli remember any...)

10. and finally, despite the odds, i actually enjoyed myself :)

"Round 2 for Ho Chi Minh anyone???"

fly...to not enjoy~

a couple of hours from now...i'll be up on a budget airline...flying to a certain part of Asia on the context of a Committee Retreat...and cuz its a retreat...there muz be work done...and unfortunately...the work to be done is gonna be pretty much done by urs sincerely...cuz first of all...all the committee members going, regardless of their positions...are already considered my bosses...so naturally, they wont do much work...

then comes my boss..whose onli reason to bring mi along is to pick up the unglam, unappreciated, un-thanked jobs which will not be recognised..naturally...that means the onli things she'll be doing are all the upfront, wayang stuff...cuz her boss is also going...

so becuz i'm literally the smallest fry at the retreat...i can honestly forget abt trying to enjoy myself...should there be any chance...oh well..

"and i have to work the next day immediately after i'm back..."