recently i dunno why but i tend to think alot...not dat i dun think or wonder enough but...i have been wondering and thinking more lately...on a few issues...
Army...this issue suddenly came to my mind recently...all these 6 months ++ i have been in the army serving my NS...without actually really sitting down and wondering how i'm taking all these...as in some people think its a total waste of time, whereas some people think it makes a man out of a boy...some even sign on for the money or the career and interest...but...i dunno whats my stand on serving the army!!!
sometimes i think its fun...sometimes i think its nice...sometimes i think its good and useful...but sometimes i also think its useless! sometimes i think its redundant and retarded...waste of time that sort of crap...
in actual fact...i think its this type of fickle-mindedness dats frustrating mi...which causes my temper to blow hot and cold at an instant...its not good i tell u...its not good...i predict i'll actually die of a heart attack from being angry with something as harmless as someone doing something dat pisses mi off...its dat bad...
another issue...its related to wat my Sir told mi recently..."everyone has problems...its only how u control it and not vent it out on your man dat matters...thats what makes a good leader..." it totally makes sense...and i totally agree...but i cant help but think i'm gonna be the kind of f**ked up sergeant dat will be cause my man to suffer big time as long as i'm in PMS mode...dats bad...real bad...
the thing is dat as i mentioned earlier on...i have a temper dat blows hot and cold so damn bloody easy dat i dun think u can noe when i'm happy and when i'm not...(hint:it doesnt mean i'm happy when i'm happy)...many things i have hidden from others...leaving no close buddies esp at ASLC...i can onli smile and pretend nothing has happened...when more often then not i'm sad and hope to tok to someone...though there's no one...so i can onli lie on my bed spacing out once again...thinking too much while the other guys at my front, rear, left and right r on the phone chatting happily away...
i dun wanna say i'm complaining...but everyone leads a different lifestyle...noe wat i mean...i'm trying to tell myself dat..."everyone lives differently...no point comparing...no point comparing..." so yeah...
maybe u could say that everything happens for a reason, and that there's usually a blessing in disguise...cuz this last few bookouts i had more time on my hand...and so i try to spend more time with...my father...i 4got dat he's 61 this yr...yet he's still running around doing errands all day long under my mum's instructions...i think as a son i can onli acc him on his missions and make the most out of it...i hate to admit it but i dont think i have much time left to spend with him...after my grandpa passed away abt a year back...i've come to realise dat life is realli too short to waste...i wanna spend the most of my time i can with him...when he asks mi to go for a drink...i'll drop watever i'm doing and happily oblige...come to think of it...its times like these with my dad that i feel good... :)
oh my...i think i've made this post too long...oh well...juz wanna end off with telling my significant half something...
Dear...i love u :)
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