Frustrated Male Syndrome

Coincidentally, or perhaps not...its been almost another year since i have been to this place..

been wanting to write out (or in this case..type out) my feelings, mostly frustrations...in hope that it might help relieve a little of the overwhelming negativity which i will not deny i am feeling...

Where should i start?

Work...

i enjoy what i do, which is to interact with people, organise and do things which help reach out to people, help them..and hopefully, make their lives better. Of course, one could say i could do it for a social cause instead of getting paid for it..but hey...i gotta earn a living too...besides, been helping out at a dog shelter now..so i guess i've been hopefully accumulating good karma...

what really irks me at work is perhaps the people i have to work with...

most times, i tell myself that people of all kinds exist everywhere, regardless of where you are...so i only gotta choose to accept it and move on with my life, and let things work out on its on...

but recently...certain events have led me to be burdened not just by others' incompetency but their ignorance and impudence as well. if i gotta work with these kinda people for the foreseeable future...i might really just prematurely have shortened my own lifespan.

a buddy of mine has finally taken the brave step of moving on...a sign of things to come that i should too perhaps..since all the tantrums and fits that i have thrown in an attempt to make a better work place has gone for naught...

i only hope that i can find the strength to protect those that i take responsibility for to not be taken advantage of at work, while skivers and nincompoops do what they do best......be scumbags of the universe...

gonna meditate now...zzz

So it has been almost a year i've visited this place...pretty dead... Some things have changed, some things haven...mostly not to my liking..but thats life...then again...most of it i only have myself to blame.. i only have to learn from these lessons..but the irony is...i never do..heh such is a foolish human.. :P what to do but to carry on life~

grown up matters

I am at an age where my peers are talking about really grown up matters..such as career, housing, cars, marriage, babies...among others...

while many of these topics are not exactly foreign...i still kind of find it surreal that its time that i am, and should be, talking about such stuff..the feeling of being grown up...is kinda scary..

and while some of my frens are happily married, i juz came across one of my frens being proposed...and how sweet it was...and yes...while it was a sweet video, i have to highlight that she was my first ever crush in primary sch...and that was like...14 yrs ago!!! I wish my first ever crush all the best, heh~

work is not much good...with more work coming in before i could give it out...damn..and with my prior stupid action...which i realli realli regret now...i doubt my work will go noticed nor rewarded...i juz hope i dun click the button...

unlucky me

at times i ponder if i tend to be too lucky and unlucky...i tend to appreciate it when situations turn out in my favor, and that seems to happen quite abit..although the same can be said of the opposite...and that...seems to be happening alot alot alot alot alot alot more frequent now...and it has cost mi quite abit...

and with the slump at work productivity and satisfation, along with the recent nitemare that i had (why can't i remember sweet dreams instead?), i only hope things will get better from here on...

oh the irony...

*Boss calls while i'm watching a movie...i hanged up...but msged her instead...

Stinko: in a movie, anything?

Boss: the *&^%$^&*(*&^%$#%^&*()&^%$^&*(&^%$ (a load of gibberish work she told me to do earlier) can already, please do it up by tomorro (which was National Day Holiday)

Boss: anyway what show are you watching?

Stinko:er...Horrible Bosses...

of disappointment and contempt

Since returning from wearing the green uniform to the corporate one...i realised much hasn't changed, and if there is any..it ain't for the better...

its really disheartening and disappointing that despite all that you have done, and what has been thrown upon you, leaving you at times overwhelmed...your superior does not recognise the effort, but instead throws more upon you and fault you for negligible matters...

its even more disheartening that the same negligible effects are of no concern when done by other personnels, or even more so at times...to add salt to the wound...they get the praise and "recognition"... *facepalm*

i am honestly disillusioned with work rite now...

wearing green and tasting grass and mud...again...

and so for the past 2 and a half weeks..i donned on the green uniform that helped me lose more than juz my weight...

4 years was the last time i touched the 120mm mortar artillary gun...and long gone was my knowledge...so it took a while to refresh everything...it didnt help that i got assigned to the most tiring detachment...but the guys helped...and i suspect i'm gonna be with this group of guys for the long run...i think thats a good thing...

while i more or less enjoyed myself during this reservist...i made some big boo boos...like almost losing my camp pass...giving wrong instructions more than once...and sunk a military vehicle into soft ground...heh...got stuck pretty badly there...but oh well..

now back to work...