Living like a dead man...

These past couple of weeks is tough...not juz physically tough but mentally and emotionally tough as well...wont go into too much details but...as my heading says...i'm pretty much a dead man rotting his time away on earth without a purpose in life...

wait...something juz came into my mind...i wanna ask...why are there ppl in these world who wan to break other couple's up when they r happy together? its juz not right? why the hell r there ppl like dat in this world? sigh...

realli not gonna be an easy time for mi...coming week is supposed to be special...dunno how special will dat be in time to come...realli hope for miracles to happen...i reali do...

A philosopher spacing out...

recently i dunno why but i tend to think alot...not dat i dun think or wonder enough but...i have been wondering and thinking more lately...on a few issues...

Army...this issue suddenly came to my mind recently...all these 6 months ++ i have been in the army serving my NS...without actually really sitting down and wondering how i'm taking all these...as in some people think its a total waste of time, whereas some people think it makes a man out of a boy...some even sign on for the money or the career and interest...but...i dunno whats my stand on serving the army!!!

sometimes i think its fun...sometimes i think its nice...sometimes i think its good and useful...but sometimes i also think its useless! sometimes i think its redundant and retarded...waste of time that sort of crap...

in actual fact...i think its this type of fickle-mindedness dats frustrating mi...which causes my temper to blow hot and cold at an instant...its not good i tell u...its not good...i predict i'll actually die of a heart attack from being angry with something as harmless as someone doing something dat pisses mi off...its dat bad...

another issue...its related to wat my Sir told mi recently..."everyone has problems...its only how u control it and not vent it out on your man dat matters...thats what makes a good leader..." it totally makes sense...and i totally agree...but i cant help but think i'm gonna be the kind of f**ked up sergeant dat will be cause my man to suffer big time as long as i'm in PMS mode...dats bad...real bad...

the thing is dat as i mentioned earlier on...i have a temper dat blows hot and cold so damn bloody easy dat i dun think u can noe when i'm happy and when i'm not...(hint:it doesnt mean i'm happy when i'm happy)...many things i have hidden from others...leaving no close buddies esp at ASLC...i can onli smile and pretend nothing has happened...when more often then not i'm sad and hope to tok to someone...though there's no one...so i can onli lie on my bed spacing out once again...thinking too much while the other guys at my front, rear, left and right r on the phone chatting happily away...

i dun wanna say i'm complaining...but everyone leads a different lifestyle...noe wat i mean...i'm trying to tell myself dat..."everyone lives differently...no point comparing...no point comparing..." so yeah...

maybe u could say that everything happens for a reason, and that there's usually a blessing in disguise...cuz this last few bookouts i had more time on my hand...and so i try to spend more time with...my father...i 4got dat he's 61 this yr...yet he's still running around doing errands all day long under my mum's instructions...i think as a son i can onli acc him on his missions and make the most out of it...i hate to admit it but i dont think i have much time left to spend with him...after my grandpa passed away abt a year back...i've come to realise dat life is realli too short to waste...i wanna spend the most of my time i can with him...when he asks mi to go for a drink...i'll drop watever i'm doing and happily oblige...come to think of it...its times like these with my dad that i feel good... :)

oh my...i think i've made this post too long...oh well...juz wanna end off with telling my significant half something...

Dear...i love u :)

the suayness continues...

So goes on with fate...

rem i had to do guard duty on monday evening til the next morning? yeah...so while i was doing my duty...one of my dear buddies call mi on the phone...

"oie, where are you???"
"huh? in camp la...guard duty leh..."
"oh! yar hor...pai seh...got night's out leh!"
"HUH!!! sigh...nvm..."

SEE! suayness continues...

some more i just ran for my SOC today b4 booking out...it was a test...if i had passed, i wouldnt have to worry about passing my course liao...but NO!!!! i have to fail by a miserable 10 seconds...sigh...10 secs leh!

somehow this ASLC course seems longer...time seems to pass slower...even my dad says so...how he feels it i also dunno...dun ask mi...juz trying to tell myself i'm already pretty lucky to be posted here as my other buddies seem to have a more miserable life...somemore their sergeant course is longer than mine...at least 1 or 2 weeks longer...hmmm...

"hmmm...bookouts have never seem more precious at this point in time..."

Whot? There are spider webs here!!!!

Too long since i touched this blog eh? can blame mi...really! rem the last time i was whining abt getting into SISPEC BSLC??? yeah...it juz got worse...i might have passed out of BSLC, but guess wat? just when i think i can get the hell out of SISPEC...they post mi to SISPEC ASLC...no more Basic Section Leader Course...its now Advanced Section Leader Course! WTF!!!

if i was given a corner to cry at dat point in time of announcement...i think i might juz have...sob sob...wats more...all my close buddies have been posted out...argh!!! this is fate! i tell you...its fate!!! my veri unlucky fate...cuz alot more suay stuff was going to happen to mi...

so i have been posted to ASLC...first none of my close buddies had the same posting...i'm now in a bunk with mostly guys i can onli converse in ang moh...i have to be so unlucky to kanna platoon IC (aka Leader Platoon Sergeant) AGAIN! AND....a guard duty on the coming monday...i can imagine how many more suay stuff can happen to mi...next week gonna start the outfield exercises le...gonna cry cry cry...

oh yar...another suay thing...i lost my phone juz a couple of hours before booking in the my new ASLC course...dats really really suay ok! its fate! i tell u...its fate!!!

"from now on...anything bad happens to mi...its fate! anything good? hmmm...the gods are teasing mi...PLEASE TEASE MI MORE!!!!!!"
ur frenly neighbourhood philospher, Stinko

I know i'm a whiner...

so its been a month since i updated this dead blog...hmmm...hu cares...anyway, time hasnt exactly been a luxury...so even if i wanted to, i cant update this blog...

so now i'm at SISPEC..."School of Infantry Specialists", though another abbreviation would mean "Suffer In Silence PLus Extra Confinement"...applies very accurately u noe...so juz as i was in BMT...i'm whining my way thru everything...

as we all know...the holidays are coming to an end, and the rain isnt...and my training schedule shows that i'll be doing alot of outfield training...i got a feeling i'm gonna be a very grumpy man/boy/watever...

well...til the next time...take care ppl :)

"You try anything funny...I'll slap you til you turn back into your father's sperm!!!"
2nd Warrant Officer Eddie Heng

Easy part of NS done...wonder what will be next...

And so passes a phase of my NS life, the easy phase...wondering where will i go next...hmmm...where ever it is, i juz hope its a slack unit...cuz i juz cant bring myself to be in a "chiong sua" mood all the time...no wait...i was never in the "chiong sua" mood! hehe!

i'm having a little break now til my next posting on the 16th dec...reporting on the 19th i guess...and dat weeek's the christmas week!!! WHY??? wat if i get into a unit dat'll confine mi during dat period??? i'll be so devastated...i think i have a way to counter that...hmmm...SAF Hotline! "hello...SAF Hotline...i'm feeling very depressed...because...because..." hehehehehehehe!

where ever i'm going for the next phase of my NS life...i think i'll juz throw it at the back of my mind and enjoy my block leave holiday first...gotta catch up with so many people...my dear esp...miss her so much!!!

"yesterday is history! today is the present! and tomorrow is the future! in the blink of an eye, you'll be leaving this place soon!"
SAF Senior Warrant Officer John Selva

PS:Did you know that there are fewer Senior Warrant Officers in the SAF than Liuetanent Generals? tell's u how hard it is to climb to dat spot...

I'm BACK!!!!

So sorry for not updating this blog of mine any sooner...anyone miss mi? i bet not! anyway, i have gone thru almost 2 months of my BMT already, pretty fast, yet time passes like a snail crawling while ur inside...so looking forward to finishing the last 5 weeks of my BMT, and i'll no longer be a chao recruit!!! i'll be a chao private!!! wahahahahaha

i gotta say i have indeed slimmed down...even if its a little, though my belly is still there...sob sob...but the things i have so far learnt are pretty interesting, and the new friends i made i could say could be friends for life, and one of my bunk mates happen to be my fellow poly classmate Mr Beng!!! made life easier for mi :)

gonna have a longer break than usual, gonna book in on thu cuz of all the holidays, and deservedly so too!!! considering the fact that i juz came back from my field camp, any place with a bed, a toilet and lights is heaven to mi!!!

gonna take this time to try to do things that i want, such as pamper my dear dear, bring my family out for a movie and a dinner, meet up with V6...oh...and fix the computer...again! i seem to have to fix the computer on my every bookout...i wonder why...

"ENEMY CONTACTED!!! GROUP!!! STRAIGHT AHEAD!!! 30!!! ENEMY ABOVE TREE!!! FIRE!!!"